A satirical look at why you should be working for yourself online.
1. You get to stay home and catch up on Oprah episodes while breaking into your emergency bon bon stash.
2. Working in your underwear wont get you fired,
although at the same time also wont get you promoted if you're cute.
3. You get random checks in the mail that you weren't expecting to get...it's like an early Christmas without a fat guy in a red suit; unless Uncle Bob comes over.
4. You get to mess with all the telemarketers that you'd normally miss while at a regular job..."Oh, you want to sell me a long distance plan? Sounds intriguing, what are you wearing?"
5. You can go grocery shopping during the day when the place is empty...just watch out for that creepy stock person with the shifty eyes defending the bread isle.
6. There's no stoplights on the information superhighway.
7. There's only one assigned parking spot and you own it just inches from your garage until the CEO (wife) comes home.
8. Where else can you pair socks while selecting keywords for your new ad campaign?
9. You don't have to keep rescheduling the plumber to fix that embarrassing toilet problem...How did that happen again?
10. Trips to Starbucks become tax write-offs, mmmmm coffee. Dear IRS, I'm kidding, really I am Smile
11. You can do business from anywhere, including the attic, but you might be a weirdo.
12. If you get lonely, the dog can easily replace a co-worker and they're usually better behaved.
13. Once you meet your goals for the day you can concentrate on why the doorbell zaps people whenever they push it.
14. You can watch your once thriving stocks and 401k plummet in real time instead of waiting to get home from work each day.
15. Working from home on the Internet has allowed you to think of unique Halloween costumes like the Squidoo squid.
16. If you suddenly fall off your chair, no one will be around to laugh at you unless "they" are watching...
17. You'll have "tough" decisions to make like which of the 3 Ferrari's you should take to go to Staples for a ream of paper.
18. Eventually, you'll start noticing you have conversations with those fax machine tones and it scares you that you understand them.
19. That mean boss from your old job will ask you to be their reference for a new job they applied to when they were laid-off.
20. You begin speaking to your baby using phrases like, "Google, Google, Google, eBay, eBay, aren't oooh a cute widdle Twitter?"
21. When you close your eyes at night you have nightmares of ebay fees but remember that you're a platinum level powerseller and fall right to sleep.
22. You wont ever have to listen to anyone say, "Looks like ya got a case of the Monday's" first thing in the morning.
23. You can finally throw away the Chia money tree...it's ok, it didn't grow real cash and it's embarrassing to have around.
24. Lunch doesn't have to come in a truck anymore.
25. Allowing yourself to give you the freedom to live your life on your own terms.
