Love is about sharing the truth - the truth about what’s really going on and the way you feel - not hiding it. Love does not waste time. It is us, human beings, who waste time. So how do we best cooperate with Love to get what we want?
I want to share a letter from a reader – and my advice to her. I feel that some of you may be in a similar situation and could use the same advice. The reader wrote:
“I met a great guy… we were fine. It’s been four months. We met each other’s family, and even took a mini vacation. Things were wonderful. I pushed him a way a tad bit just because I was trying to be careful but he just suddenly vanished... won’t answer my calls or texts. I’m saddened. Should I persist or cut it also?”
My advice to her:
Honestly, this does not sound promising. I've heard of this happening to others as well, where someone in their life just disappears with no explanation. If it was really so wonderful, what is he running away from? What kind of character does this show of a person?
Can you truly trust him if it doesn't take much for him to disappear? And if you can't truly trust him, then you do not have a solid foundation with him to build a real relationship. Whatever the case, we don’t yet know his side of the story, and perhaps he doesn't quite know your side of the story either.
Because I don't know the details of the four months you had with him, I can only comment on what you can do right now based on the way you feel. I'm assuming you guys were talking everyday and all was good, then suddenly, it all ended and there was no gradual lead up to it, instead, he suddenly just vanished, right? I'm advising based on this assumption:
So at this point, you really have to listen to your heart and be completely honest with yourself. If you really feel that there was something great with what you shared with this guy, and it really is worth pursuing, then do something about it.
Here's your chance to lay the cards on the table. Whether you have to write an email, or leave a message (because he won’t pick up or call back), you can still take the initiative to give both you and him a chance to explain. Just make sure you share your truth - speak from the heart.
Tell him how you feel about the time you shared together, share with him how you're hurt about what is happening, and be honest about what you would like to see happen from this point on. Speak this truth from a place of love, not a place of ego. Have an attitude of coming from a win-win mentality. Do your best and share with integrity. If he's the right guy for you, he will see the beauty in what you're doing and know how to act accordingly.
But if he continues to add drama to your life by not responding or giving you a hard time, you now know he is not the right guy for you.
However, if you can’t see yourself sharing all this with him because you don’t feel he is worth pursuing in this way, then, there you have it… you already know deep down, it was fun while it lasted but you don't have to continue it because he's not the right guy for the long-term anyway.
If anything, you can still share your truth, regardless. Put it out there and see what comes back at you... at least just to get the truth out so you can get some peace and closure — if that's what you feel you need in order to move on.
Love is about sharing the truth - the truth about what’s really going on and the way you feel - not hiding it. Love does not waste time. It is us, human beings, who waste time. Love wants you to feel good and be happy in a fulfilling relationship. And this is what you want for yourself ultimately. So you see, Love is always on your side. But Love cannot help you unless you’re on the same team.
So act and align yourself with Love's intentions for you. Speak the truth, put your feelings out there (if you feel strongly for this guy, that is), and accept whatever comes back at you. Because whatever comes back at you is what Love would want for you. It is what Love wants you to know about him.
So if what comes back at you is a guy who's going to waste your time, it will show. You will know. You will know because your heart will not be completely fulfilled - it will feel confused, or dissatisfied. This is Love guiding you. You will feel these things so you can know to move away from the situation to make room for something better to come into your life.
However, if what comes back at you feels good and promising then you can take the next step forward accordingly.
Just keep this in mind about life: You will always know what you need to know when you share your truth.
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