Five Fashion No Nos

Feb 13


Richard Nick

Richard Nick

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The fashion world is a cruel place - one where some of the most fun fads look laughable in once sepia coloured from. We all look back at some of our parents sartorial choices and grimace, however there have been a number of fashion faux-pas we should all be conscious of. So, as it's still in the month of January, sit beside the fire place with that photo album, as if you've pictures wearing any of the items below, you may consider sending them to the fiery pits of hell.

OnesieOne of the most recent and more notable pieces of clothing to come into existence in the recent half decade, Five Fashion No Nos Articles or so is the onesie. Once the reserve of toddlers, the onesie has become a piece of kitsch, but functional clothing that to an extent is an ironic style trend. Your children won't understand the irony we can assure you!Though the onesie is probably the best piece of clothing ever invented for the winter period, it doesn't create that sense of sex appeal some may envisage. This lack of attractiveness is possibly down to the issue of it turning a person into something resembling a small child - so to an extent heaven sakes for that! However, do stoke the furnace, it will be hard to explain.Mesh Shirts and VestsFor a man the idea that a mesh shirt, or mesh vest could perform in a favourable manner in fashion terms is like saying mixing marmite and old slippers is a good idea as the colours are often similar!Mesh vests and shirts are the clothing equivalent of octogenarian bungee jumpers - a bad idea! In fact, we can't think of a single instance where a mesh piece of clothing would ever be a good idea. Perhaps for those who find regular clothing catching fire and require a draft, mesh clothing is a good idea - we don't know anyone with that problem however and can't recommend them. There's no excuse for poor clothing with the likes of daily deals sites offering up to 70 per cent off clothingSunglasses at Night/ IndoorsThough technically not exactly a fashion and more of a choice, wearing sunglasses inside is something that deserves to be punished by unfriending of the virtual and also real variety. Comedian Larry David, of Seinfeld and Arrested Development fame said '"You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes."He's a funny man, who's sharp as a tack, so if you are of the persuasion to do this - take it as a hint not to.Stupid T-Shirts and Sports JerseysT-shirts with puns and other such sexually suggestive references should only be worn on TV, by those playing the character of geeks/ losers/sexual deviant.In real life, even if you are one of the aforementioned, you probably don't want to be tarred more than likely. Unless. that is, your urges for blatant self abuse and social alienation becoming increasingly prevalent, due to some psychological issue or another.T-shirts with sayings such as 'If Found; Return to Pub', Liquor in the front,; Poker in the Back, or 'Yo Ladies, Free Piggyback Rides!' should all be avoided, lest you want to be understandably unpopular.Sports t-shirts may seem to create a masculine appeal, however are made for what they suggest they are made for - sport - so only wear them in a football stadium, at the gym, or while playing five-aside etc.Side Ways Baseball HatsAside from not making any sense and looking silly, the sideways baseball cap is a scary prospect. Anyone, who has placed a baseball cap on their head at an angle that just evades gravity has obviously spent a good, five to ten minutes pouting to some Ice T, while nodding their head to something to do with 'pimps, bros and drugs'.The effort, let alone the fact your mother doesn't allow you two, out of three of the aforementioned, means this whole fashion is just one that creates an inevitable cringe among the sane. Using daily deals sites such as kgbdeals can help with this.By avoiding all five out of five you certainly limit your chances of laughter in the immediate and also long term future. However combing all three together earns bonus points in our books and might even pass as a Halloween costume of sorts - one of the great deals of combining all five.