The Top 10 Things to Remember the Night Before (the) Christmas (Office Party)

Smart reindeer know that "office party" is an oxymoron. Brush up on your EQ at Work Etiquette before you go, because Senior Management is going to be making a list and checking it twice to see who's naughty and who's nice.

1. Twas the night before the office holiday party

And you are getting a good night’s sleep after having chosen an appropriate outfit, and gone over your EQ (social skills) because you, Smart Elf that you are, understand “office party” is an oxymoron. You’re going to work and you’re going rested and prepared, just like any other work day.

2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Remember, he didn't get to play reindeer games. Drink little or none at all. You’re being watched and you need your wits about you.

3. Frosty the Snowman was a jolly, happy soul.

Fine line again. It’s that old “business” and “party” combined. Don’t be cold and “businesslike,” it’s time to be warm and congenial. Act like you’re glad to be there! Make it a point to talk with as many folks as you can. But it isn't the time to ask for a promotion or raise by trying to do a "snow job" on your boss.

4. Mama in her kerchief and you in your WHAT??

Spare us, spare your job. Dress appropriately. We don’t want to see your hairy chest, new tattoo, naval, cleavage, or the top 12” of your thigh. And neither does the CFO. You should aim for a festive-but-professional look.

5. HO HO HO

Be full of merry seasonal conversation-starters, like “Did you know that ‘mistletoe’ means ‘dung-on-a-stick’?” j.k. I mean that’s what it does mean, but you might want to save that one. Well, it's "twig," but I ask you, does it matter what your dung is skewered on?

Okay, how about this? Mistletoe etiquette dictates that after you kiss under it, you remove a berry. When all the berries are gone, the kissing is over. However, don’t eat the berry or your kissing days will be permanently over. Holly berries and every part of the mistletoe are poisonous. Now isn’t that interesting? No?

How about this, the ritual of cutting the mistletoe from the oak came to symbolize the emasculation of the old King by his successor, so if there’s going to be some “down-sizing” or a major office coup d'etat …

6. Your dimples how merry

Yes, smile. Mix and mingle. Show off those “soft” skills that are directly related to your ability to network which is so very valuable to your employer. Get it?

7. Give a luster to objects below

Remember those whom you may be tempted to elbow past on your way to meet the Big Guys at the punch bowl will be there to sabotage your project Monday morning, I mean ^help you^. (As Dave Berry said, "If you're not nice to the waiter, you're not a nice person.")

8. Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!

Know the names. Know how to introduce people to one another. Is it, “Mr. CEO, I’d like you to meet my wife, Clothtilde,” or is it “Clothtilde, this is my boss … the owner of the company …” You want to know all this before you get there. Study up! (Call your coach!)

9. And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself

I’m going to get serious here, because you don’t want to be doing anything, or having any reaction “in spite of yourself.” This is what EQ is all about. Me, 20 years in PR, and I could still be thrown momentarily. You will have emotional reactions, you’re human … such as when you’re meeting your senior partner’s wife for the first time, and she staggers in dead drunk, making Tammy Faye look like a nun, and says, “No s***” when you’re introduced.

Or Tom, the mailroom man, arrives with his two children, both in wheelchairs with cerebral palsy, and you didn’t know this, and you “don’t know what to say,” and Santa’s gifts for all the kids will be skateboards.

10. And to all a good night?

Don’t be the last to leave (or to arrive). It’s just not cool. But don’t dash away either; don’t be the first to leave (or to arrive). Balance … moderation … self-management … EQ … if you want a sleigh full of toys.
Susan Dunn, http://www.susandunn.cc