Balancing the Scales in Your Relationship

Reader's Dilemma

A 21-year-old woman recently started dating a 22-year-old man. They've been together for two months, and while things are going well, she feels like he's contributing more to the relationship. Here's a breakdown of her concerns:

• Communication: She's more talkative, so conversations often revolve around her interests.
• Activities: They tend to do things she enjoys more than things he likes.
• Interests: He has limited personal interests, having recently moved away from a video game obsession.

She worries about being self-centered and wants to find a balance.

Dr. Dennis's Advice

Dr. Dennis offers some straightforward advice to help balance the relationship:

Focus on Him

• Limit Self-Talk: For the next few weeks, try not to talk about yourself too much. Share briefly about your day, then shift the focus to him.
• Ask Specific Questions: Encourage him to open up by asking detailed questions about his day and feelings.

Encourage His Interests

• Plan Activities He Enjoys: Suggest doing something he likes, even if he struggles to come up with ideas.
• Explore New Hobbies Together: Find a "couples hobby" that neither of you has tried before. This can help build a connection.

Different Perspectives

Perspective 1: Communication Styles

• Women Tend to Share More: Women often express themselves more openly, which can dominate conversations.
• Men May Struggle to Open Up: Men might find it challenging to articulate their feelings, leading to a communication gap.

Perspective 2: Interests and Activities

• Diverse Interests: Having varied interests can enrich a relationship, but it requires effort to explore each other's likes.
• Shared Experiences: Trying new activities together can strengthen bonds and create shared memories.

Interesting Stats

• Communication Differences: Studies show that women speak about 20,000 words per day, while men speak about 7,000 (source: Psychology Today).
• Shared Activities: Couples who engage in new activities together report higher relationship satisfaction (source: Journal of Marriage and Family).

Conclusion

Balancing a relationship requires effort from both partners. By focusing on each other's interests and improving communication, you can create a more equitable and fulfilling partnership. Remember, it's about finding what works for both of you and enjoying the journey together.

For more insights on relationships, check out Psychology Today and the Journal of Marriage and Family.