Navigating Texting Etiquette in Early Dating

The Situation

A student received a text from a classmate asking him out. He replied that it was disrespectful, and she responded with "whatever." Now, he's wondering if he handled it correctly.

Perspectives on Texting in Dating

Perspective 1: Texting as Disrespectful

• Traditional View: Some see texting as impersonal and disrespectful for initiating a date. It lacks the personal touch of a face-to-face or phone conversation.
• Insecurity Factor: The girl might have texted due to insecurity or fear of rejection. Texting can feel like a safer option for those who are nervous about asking someone out.

Perspective 2: Texting as a Modern Norm

• Convenience and Comfort: For many, texting is a comfortable and convenient way to communicate, especially for younger generations who are accustomed to digital interactions.
• Effort Recognition: Acknowledge the effort it takes to ask someone out, even via text. It can be a big step for someone who is shy or anxious.

How to Handle It

If you're interested in the person who texted you, consider these steps:

1. Acknowledge the Effort: Recognize that reaching out, even by text, took courage.
2. Clarify Your Preferences: Politely express your preference for more personal communication, like a phone call or face-to-face chat.
3. Make Amends: If you feel you were too harsh, approach the person and say something like:
   • "Hey, I appreciate you reaching out. It must have been tough, and I respect that. Let's meet up this weekend."

Success Rates

• Chances of Success: You have about a 70% chance of success if you approach the situation with understanding and openness.
• Potential for Rejection: There's a 30% chance she might still turn you down if her feelings were hurt, but at least you'll have taken the high road.

Conclusion

Texting might not be the ideal way to ask someone out, but it's a reality of modern dating. Understanding the reasons behind it and responding with empathy can lead to better outcomes. Remember, communication preferences vary, and it's important to find a balance that works for both parties.

Additional Resources

• Psychology Today on Texting and Relationships
• The Atlantic on Modern Dating

For more insights on dating and relationships, visit Being a Man or follow Dr. Dennis Neder on Facebook and Twitter.