Stealing Children’s Souls: When Adults Use Emotional Bullying

What would you do if an educator did this to your child at school?

• Called her names like Lazy, Stupid, Idiot, Clumsy, or other unwanted names
• Scared him by threatening big consequences the next time he made a mistake
• Shared her private secrets with others
• Taunted him by calling attention to what he didn’t do well
• Intimidated her with mean looks, public humiliation, or negative gestures
• Manipulated him to accomplish certain tasks by comparing him to his siblings or other kids

Is any of this OK with you? Would you call the school? Make an appointment with the principal? Contact the press or get a lawyer? It’s bullying, you know. It’s actually emotional abuse. There is unwanted behavior, unequal power, and one- sided action. Kids look up to adults, and when an adult betrays a child’s trust, damage occurs. It’s like stealing the child’s soul.

There are better ways to guide kids than bullying them to do their homework, pay attention, or attend to their responsibilities. It all starts with respect. So let me tilt this post a little differently.

What does it mean if you, the parent, did this to your child at home?

• Called her names like Lazy, Stupid, Idiot, Clumsy, or other unwanted names
• Scared him by threatening big consequences the next time he made a mistake
• Shared her private secrets with others
• Taunted him by calling attention to what he didn’t do well
• Intimidated her with mean looks, public humiliation, or negative gestures.
• Manipulated him to accomplish certain tasks by comparing him to his siblings or other kids.

Does the title of parent change anything? If you were appalled by the thought of a teacher doing any of this to your child, nothing changes for the child just because you’re related. It’s still bullying. It’s one-sided, unwanted behavior with an imbalance of power. It hurts, and it steals the soul. It’s all about respect. And respect begins at home.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER OR WEB SITE?

You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish GAPRA’s bi-weekly articles. If you’re ready to guide children in grades K – 12 through painful friendships, get your free mini-audio workshop and ongoing tips at:

For School and Youth Organizations: http://www.gapraconnect.com/For Parents: http://www.awaythrough.com/