Wanderlust Revisted

I grew up in a traveling family. While we didn't exactly live on the road, my folks made it a point to take the four of us kiddies on several vacations each year. All of us learned that the world was a pretty big place, that there were lots to see and do, and that no two beaches, cities or mountains are alike - even if they are on the same side of the continent.

 Rather than asking, "how are your folks?" friends will inquire, "... so exactly where are your parents this week?" To this very day, we all travel whenever - and wherever- we get the chance.

There is something about travel that just gets into one's DNA. Wanderlust is a true force of nature. Look into the eyes of a life-long traveler, and you'll notice something different - a kind of knowing, mischievous sparkle that seems to say, "I have a plan... I have a map... I have tickets... I've eaten scary things in unusual places - and I'll be doing it again soon!"

 I can already see the bug growing in Cai, who's spent a fair amount of time on the road already. Though he asks "are we there yet?" over and over again, it feels more in the spirit of play than the energy of "get me outta this car already!"

 Traveling with the family is one thing. Traveling with one or two close friends is another. Traveling alone for work is something else entirely - and it's relatively new terrain for me...

Back in April I "auditioned" for a training position with the organization I did my coaching studies with - CTI - the Coaches Training Institute. I got the job, which in itself is the fulfillment of a dream I've had for many years. (All of this is rich fodder for more stories later on...) The work involves quite a bit of travel, which I certainly enjoy. The nature of that travel, though, is a little different. Basically, it's me and my carry-on flying in on Thursday, co-leading a weekend course, thenand then flying home on Sunday evening. It's the daily "how was your day - I love you - I miss you - goodnight" phone call kind of travel...

Hmmm... What to do..? I wanted to be very conscious about what I was choosing...

There's the work itself - teaching CoActive Coaching, which I think is some of the greatest stuff since the invention of trees. (Mexican food is also in the top ten, just in case you were wondering...) There's visiting friends whom I wish I could see more often. There's rubbing elbows and working with folks I've looked up to for years. There's the thrill of meeting new people and witnessing their growth. There's the pure, child-like joy of having my nose glued to an airplane window, watching the world go by from six miles up...

 ...And then there is the sting of leaving Cai and Danielle back home, wishing they were looking out the same window, watching the world go by...

I went back and forth in my thinking (and feeling) about all this well in advance of jumping in. I listened to my head, felt my gut. Then I listened to my gut and felt my head. I thought, "what message does me - running off for days at a time - chasing my dream - send to my son? Is this going to mess him up?" Then I thought, "what message does denying my dream send to my son? That's sure to mess him up..." 

I sat and I thought and I thought and I sat. Then I did all over again...

One truth is that the realization of this particular dream carries with it a real mixed bag of emotions. For all the wonder and satisfaction, it hurts to walk out the door. 

Another truth is that there are a whole lot of folks out there who have left dreams on doorsteps, in attics, on napkins in coffee shops, on ledgers hidden in piano benches... The thought of that kind of pain makes walking out the door - however much it hurts - seem like an encouraging, gentle pat on the back.

I've revisited my wanderlust many times in many contexts. It's real. ...And it still includes my little family. 

I'll be hitting the road for CTI beginning in July. I'll be doing work I love, leaving people I love in order to do it. While I'm away I'll miss them - and I'll love them from a distance. When I get home I'll still love them. I have it on authority that they will continue to love me.

I'll be collecting those frequent flier miles and setting them aside for journeys with Cai and Danielle. We're planning on taking some awesome trips together...