How Estate Attorneys Can Prevent Family Quarrels

As parents grow older, adult children usually begin to worry about how their parents will be cared for as well as how their assets will be handled after they pass on. Although it's a topic most people are hesitant to bring up to siblings and other loved ones, estate attorneys agree that the longer the discussion is put off, the worse the results can be. If you're concerned about the changing life circumstances of your mother, father or both, you owe it to yourself to have a family meeting.

Getting Things Started: Talk To Your Parents First

If you've been worrying about your futures for a while now, it's time to discuss this with them. Choose a day and time that isn't hectic and lay out your concerns in a way that isn't confrontational. Ask questions about their financial situation, how they'd like their assets handled if they become incapacitated and even whether they've created wills or trusts. Don't expect your mom and dad to be willing to part with all of the information; after all, they are used to handling things for you, not the other way around. They may also see your concern as an invasion of their privacy, so take it slow and respect their boundaries. At this point, you should suggest that they meet with experienced estate attorneys who are familiar with elder law issues.

After you've discussed these issues, it's time to bring your siblings on board and get their feedback and input. Leaving one or more siblings out of the loop is a recipe for disaster that can lead to someone hiring a litigation attorney down the line. By involving everyone early on, you'll increase the chances that estate attorneys with elder law experience will be able to handle your parents' needs without causing a family rift.

The First Family Meeting: Getting Everyone's Input

You should talk to your siblings after talking to your parents and let them know that you'd like their input. Saying something like, "I'm concerned about Mom and Dad's situation. They are getting older, and I think it's time we helped them make solid plans for their future. I'd like to get your input on their future care, how their estate should be handled and if there are any elder law issues we should be concerned about if they become incapacitated."

Set up a time when you, your parents and your siblings can get together to air grievances or concerns and discuss the future without feeling rushed. Discuss viable care options, including assisted living facilities, nursing homes, and whether you or one of your siblings could take a parent into your homes. Don't ignore your parents' wishes when discussing the future; their input should be respected at all times. If you aren't sure whether there are elder law constraints that could interfere with your family's plans, contact estate attorneys in your area for answers.

Estate Attorneys Can Guide Your Family And Clarify Issues

After you've discussed your parents' futures and determined how they want their assets and property handled, it's time to meet with estate attorneys who can help them craft a will or establish a trust. Estate attorneys can also help guide you in determining whether a solution is practical, but only you and your family can decide whether it will work for everyone. Your parents may want to meet privately with estate attorneys, or they may welcome your input. Either way, you'll be glad to know that, by stepping up and planning that first, difficult family meeting, you've contributed to their future and minimized the potential for drama in your family as they grow older.