How Are You Talking To Me?

And we're all after one thing -- to get a piece of cyber pieand make money online.

Millions go online every day and sometimes it's difficult tobe personal in dealing with people who we either want to sell to, subscribe to our e-zine, or just plain drag toour latest web site.

In a place where all things are virtual and it's easy tostereotype, it takes time and a lot of hard work to builda good and reliable reputation. And it only takes a shortwhile for that good reputation to come crumbling down.

I'm a seller, a publisher and a web site owner, but I'mnot here to give you a sales talk, ask you to subscribe tomy e-zines or even implore you take a peek at my web sites.

Today I'm your prospective client or buyer, your potentiale-zine subscriber and your web site visitor so I'm here toshare with you what I think about the things you've beendoing to me and the others.

*IF YOU'RE SELLING ME SOMETHING, how are you talking to me?

- Hey, I'm not dumb!The last thing I want to read from you is an ad implying I'm dumb. I read you're looking for less than average peopleto join you. Gee, what a boost in my self-esteem. I took onelook at your headline and I promptly sent your ad to thetrash. I'd be surprised if you do get a lot of response.

- Give me a break!I don't need you to give me false praises about how greatyou think my web site is. And aww, shucks...you even attached a snapshot of my web site with itsy bitsy teenyweeny yellow...err, small people getting pulled to my siteas if my site's a magnet. But you know what? I don't ownthat site! Your e-mail harvesting software picked up my e-mail address from a site that published one of myarticles. So no thanks, I don't want to use your searchengine placement service to drive traffic to my site. You can't even get my site right!

- I never gave you permission!I'm a member of legitimate announcement lists so I canpromote myself and read the promotions of others. However,the lists I joined are clearly not safelists so don't tellme we're both members of a safelist and that your messageis not spam when I receive an e-mail from you offlist. Ourassociation is only within the limits of the announcementlists we're subscribed to and just because we're both inthose list doesn't mean you can keep my e-mail address inyour address book. I never gave you permission to contact me later offlist to promote the latest get-rich-quick program you just joined.

*IF YOU PUBLISH AN E-ZINE, how are you talking to me?

- What a name plate!By the time I get to the main content of your e-zine, I'vescrolled 100 lines down causing me to get that glazed (sometimes crazed) look. When I do reach the first article, I'm too exhausted to read it. All I could remember are the numerous top sponsor ads and your verbosity, not to mentionthe tons of exclamation marks you've put after your everystatement.

- This here ain't an e-zine!Ninety-nine percent of your so-called content is nothing buta bunch of your affiliate links. Has it occurred to you thatI might want real information, not ads? Ok, so you publishsome articles, but 50 other e-zines just published them last week. And you wonder why you're getting a lot of unsubscribe requests.

- You expect me to read through your e-zine?Your format's all messed up and it's obvious you never taketime to double-check how your e-zine looks like when itlands on my inbox. You could make it easier on me by usinga clean format -- say, at 65 characters per line and withlots of white spaces?

*IF YOU HAVE A SITE, how are you talking to me?

- Kill me with your pop-ups and pop-unders!I visit your site out of curiosity or genuine interest inwhat you have to offer there, and as soon as I get to yoursite, a pop-up well...pops up. But that's OK, 'cause I canclose the pop-up without even looking at it. So I continueto look at your site. I click a link on your main page andwow, another pop-up pops up! Again, it's OK, 'cause I canclose it right away. I click 3 other links from your siteand each time I do, there's a pop-up. So I've had it! I click the X on the browser where your URL is and I get evenmore pop-ups. And I discover too late that aside from thepop-ups, you've got pop-unders working for you. I'm gladI didn't bookmark your site because I'm not going to goback there again.

- The least you can do is be professional...If you don't plan on learning HTML or creating your sitesfrom scratch, can you at least take advantage of your WYSIWYG editors and make your site look professional? No,professional doesn't mean an animated dog running acrossthe top of your page. No, professional doesn't mean one long page containing all the affiliate banners and buttons you can fit in there. No, professional doesn't mean using asize 1 Arial Narrow font in fuschia against a yellow background. And no, professional doesn't mean putting a"Love Me Tender" midi on your site where you're selling your latest e-book.

So here I am, someone who is on the receiving end of yourmessage -- whether you're trying to tell me about yourservices or your products, get me to read your e-zine orvisit your site.

Really...how are you talking to me?