IT’S YOUR CHOICE!

Do you really realize just how much choice you have in your
life? Every moment you are choosing. The trick is to make
those choices conscious, to be aware that you are actually
making a choice at each moment.

I was talking to one of my book editors the other day and he
asked me why I wrote that you choose your perceptions in life.
He wanted to know how I thought that was true. Well, more
accurately, he did not want to believe it was true and was
hoping to convince me otherwise!!

It takes maturity to take responsibility for your choices in
life—all of them. It’s much easier to find someone to blame
for what you do, what you think and how you feel. It’s
quicker, too.

The dictionary says that perception is ‘physical sensation
interpreted in the light of experience’. Wow! Your past
experience actually plays a part in how you see your world.
What a surprise! So, anything you hear, see, taste, touch or
smell can trigger a past memory or a past response. Whether
or not you allow it, though, is your choice. You can change
the way you see life at any minute.

You do choose what you pay attention to at every moment. Do
not let your pre-programming from past experiences determine
how you see your life now. That’s where the real choice in
life is!

Have you ever been in a new relationship that has great
potential for becoming a significant relationship? As you get
to know one another more deeply and the ‘first date’,
‘honeymoon’ phase dissipates, it sometimes happens that that
special person seems to react to some small thing in a way
that completely surprises you. For example, he or she might
display signs of jealousy when you have done nothing to
warrant it. There is an example of a ‘physical sensation
interpreted in the light of experience’. Your new partner may
very well be reacting to a way you looked at someone or moved
your body that they knew to mean flirting in their past
relationship. Now, they want to interpret it in the same way
in your new relationship. No! That’s not fair!

We need to approach each new relationship with an open mind
and a willingness to see and learn about this new partner,
boss, co-worker or friend with new eyes. Sure, you have
learned valuable lessons in the past that will help you make
good decisions, however, it is unfair to generalize the
behaviors of one person when meeting someone new.

Sometimes a person in your life makes some changes for the
positive. She is working hard to be different, to respond
differently, to improve an area of her life. Open yourself
to the possibility of seeing her differently. Give her the
space to change. Notice the changes. Both of you will
benefit.

Everything has the meaning that you give it. A driver cuts in
front of you on the freeway. One day, you can be angry and
curse the driver for being such a complete idiot. Another
day, you can simply say, ‘Oh, maybe, she’s late for a very
important appointment’ and let it go. That’s choosing how you
see things, your perception. The second approach saves wear
and tear on your energy, your nerves and your sense of
well-being.

One day a colleague at work is quiet, uncommunicative and
sullen. You can decide that that person is childish, angry,
pouting or difficult. You may then ignore him or treat him
coldly. Or, you might decide that something very difficult
has happened to them and ask if you can help in some way. You
may simply be compassionate towards them and give them the
space and peace to recover. It’s a choice.

Life goes along much better when you take responsibility for
your choices. You will not be looking for someone to blame
for your mood, your responses or your actions. You choose the
meaning things have and, in that light, you choose your
responses. You are powerful. Every moment of every day you
are deciding how to view your world. Exercise your power to
choose. See things positively. It’s your choice.