The Attack On The Mail Order Brides Industry (Part One)

Jul 5
21:13

2005

Jamie Morrow

Jamie Morrow

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The “mail order brides” industry is continually attacked by feminist groups pushing politically to prohibit men accessing foreign women. This article demonstrates the argument against “mail order brides” services is primarily emotional.

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I am just taking a moment to write because I came across your site on the internet while researching the legality of mail order bride services. I am not going to tell you anything you do not already know. You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you. If these mail order brides from Asia,The Attack On The Mail Order Brides Industry (Part One) Articles Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day. You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here; I'm saying you have no good qualities at all. Surprise! Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money. You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big". The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need). So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty. Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that? You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S. You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship. News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real. Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you. Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.

Sincerely,

Amy XXXXXXX  

Amy I am going to try to start a dialogue with you. I suspect this will be difficult based on your preference for name-calling, but I will still try to enlighten you on why your assumptions and impressions are not accurate. My experience with people who attack from an emotional, indoctrinated bias is that they are not inclined to learn or change regardless of the facts. However, my points will serve others. Understand every point I make will have exceptions, and that forming opinions on infrequent deviations does not diminish the overall benefits for the involved majority.            

"You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you." 

Amy this is not true men select foreign brides for a variety of reasons. Some for their ethnicity, some for their values, some for their charm, the list is endless. What would be on the bottom of the list would be desperation; neither the men nor the women are desperate. The idea that these women would leave their home, family, friends and all the familiarities of their home country for a phony marriage is a sad perspective you have of such women. Believing all inhabitants of developing countries feel impoverished and desperate is a silly notion. The majority of the women on my website are average Colombian women who lead happy, productive lives. They know of only one existence. They do not compare being in you shoes and conclude from this that they have unfulfilled lives. The only "pretending" I see is you pretending to know me and the women you have never talked to. Unbeknownst to you, these women do defend their rights to choose who they marry, for example:  

"I'm from Colombia South America and have friends that would love to find men from other country's. Not because we are so poor as some of you seem to think but because the men here enjoy cheating on there wife's and getting drunk. But I could be wrong it does seem you know more about my country then I do."  

You would get the same general response regardless of what foreign bride you talked to. But be honest Amy, you don't have any respect for how these women feel and believe. My guess is their opinions are meaningless to you because you would rationalize that since they make choices you disagree with they must not know what they are doing, is this not right?  

"If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day."  

Again, you belittle these women. A look at the women's profiles would tell you that they come from all walks of life some are professionals, some are students, some are maids and some do not work, and yes, some cannot find work. However, what makes you think they do not have options for the men and path they take in life? Of course, their economic opportunities are not as strong as in the Western world, but this does not mean their opportunities for happiness is any less so, does it? Or are you correlating happiness with wealth?  

"You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here; I'm saying you have no good qualities at all."  

Before I speak of me personally, the men seeking foreign women do so out of choice. They have no lack of options they have preferences. Are you against this choice? Do you believe American women or so high and mighty that any man that chooses not to connect with one is inadequate? You know nothing of my history yet you conclude this. I have a very positive impression of American women and I have been romantically successful with them all my life. I love the American woman's complexity, independence, strength, diversity, unpredictability and companionship. I love the fight in the American woman. It would not occur to me to see an American woman married to a foreign man from a third world county and think that she did so because she struck out with American men. I would think that she fell in love and he fell in love. But you don't appear to think in these terms. To you one was lacking good qualities and had no choice. Is this not a fair interpretation? I should let you know men from all walks of live marry foreign brides, their doctors, entrepreneurs, professionals, government employees, firemen, college students and soldiers. Isn't this something, the men just as the women come from all walks of live and you want to tell them where and how far they should walk.

But let us accept your premise, lets say a man did strike out all his life with American women. Does this mean he shouldn't look elsewhere? Does this mean he should be alone? Is it possible women of different cultures might have a different perspective in how they evaluate this man, and what you would consider as shortcoming others may find desirable. Is this possible Amy or should we just prohibit his efforts?  

"Did it ever occur to you that the things you look for in a woman might be similar to the qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money."  

Amy I make no claims otherwise. I just reject the demeaning limitations you assign to these women.  

"You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big".  

Amy I sell matchmaking services, which means like all businesses I have to sell. My "Mr. Big" comment is nothing more then selling off of one of hundreds of criteria men and women apply in dating. Are you telling me some American women do not judge men by their financial stature? Is this what you are telling me Amy, because I said nothing more then this?  

"The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need)."  

Boy did my wife Karina get a bum deal; were going to be living in Colombia, so she doesn't even get that. Again Amy you categorize with out knowing. I can only assume from the way you like to throw accusations void of facts that your "research" will be just as slanted. Did it ever occur to you to know of what you speak before you speak? Let me stick you foot further in your mouth. While my situation is certainly atypical, your attack on me is personal so I will provide my personal story. My wife comes from a well off family. She was not a member of a Colombian marriage agency nor did she know such things existed. She led a privileged life. She was chauffeured to the University, she traveled to Europe, she owned property and was pampered her whole life. Her family has greater economic wealth then I do and did not want Karina to marry me. I told them Karina would not have a personal maid in the United States and that she would have to contribute with the family workload as most American women do. They told me I was crazy, Karina didn't even know how to cook white rice. But even against her families wishes Karina wanted to marry me. Her family pressured her by cutting off all her privileges anticipating that she would buckle under. When that did not work, they threw her out of the family. Here is a girl with a very large family, where family is everything, being evicted from her comfortable home and catered life with nothing. She was shunned from her family for hiding her romance and wanting to marry me. Yet you blindly conclude that she does not love me and I lured her to America because she lived an impoverished life of desperation. Amy I am curious, is it occurring to you to say maybe I should have my facts straight before I spit venom, because if it does then there is still salvation for you.