7 Secrets For Combating Stress In Your Life

Your air conditioner quits; you get fired; you fail a test; your 13 year old son is arrested for shoplifting; or you find out you have cancer. These are just a few of life’s events that trigger stress, frustration, anxiety, or depression.  Medical experts estimate that stress which is unresolved or becomes chronic accounts for more than 90 percent of all illnesses and trips to the doctor.  This article reveals 7 secrets for combating stress in your life.

NURTURING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

1. CREATE BOUNDARIES.
Nurturing personal relationships is impossible without boundaries. Boundaries reflect what other people can or cannot do or say to you, for instance, "I am only able to listen to you when you speak calmly without shouting." This will leave you feeling protected from hurtful situations. Learn to say “No.”  You are not Superman (or Wonder Woman).  You simply cannot do it all!  Trying will leave you disappointed, stressed out, and feeling like a failure. Creating boundaries will help you combat stress.

2. ASK PEOPLE TO HELP YOU.
Asking for help is an essential stress reducer in nurturing personal relationships. Don’t be so full of pride!  Choose 3 things today that you can receive help with and ask for it. You will have less to cope with and get done, you can stop being the hero who does it all, and you will allow the other person to feel important and have a sense of responsibility and personal accomplishment.  And you can lessen the stress in your own life in the process.

3. PLAN A FUN ACTIVITY EVERY DAY.  HAVE FUN!
Nurturing personal relationships includes having fun! Research shows that people who pursue recreational activities on a regular basis are more satisfied with their lives and in better health. If you're not having enough fun, sit down and list some fun activities you can integrate in your life  It can be for 15 minutes or as long as you want.  And it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either. Watch a comedy, go dancing, swimming, play your favorite sport, or have a water-pistol fight with friends. Go to a movie, on a picnic, or fishing at a local pond. You will have something to look forward to each and every day, keeping fun and balance in your life. And you will build better relationships with family members and friends. As our children were growing up we called it “making memories.”  Recreational activities are a prime source of stress release.

4. COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS.

Properly communicating your feelings is essential in nurturing personal relationships. Use the statement "I feel...." when communicating your feelings to others.  For example, "I feel unimportant when you don't telephone me if you are going to be late." Or you could say, “I feel loved when you volunteer to do the dishes after supper.”  Here’s another. “I feel great pride when I know you are doing your best in school.”  The important thing in communication of feelings is to deal with the issue, not personalities. You will feel less conflict when you take ownership for your feelings and talk about the other person's behavior, not about them personally. This kind of communication leads to much less stress and frustration in personal relationships.

5. USE THE WORDS "WOULD YOU PLEASE..." WHEN ASKING FOR THINGS.
Kind words are an important part of nurturing personal relationships. For example, "Would you please look after my plants while I am on vacation?" “Would you please take the garbage down on your way to work tomorrow?”  “Would you please pick up some milk on your way home tonight?” You are more likely to achieve a 'yes' as the other person is left feeling capable and having a choice rather than being told to what to do.  Reducing the confrontations in your relationships will reduce stress in your life.

6. SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION.
Nurturing personal relationships includes demonstrating appreciation and gratitude to others. Every day tell someone that you appreciate them, "I appreciate the way you've supported me through this emotional time." “I’m grateful that you have picked up the household chores while I’ve been working overtime.”  We all want and need to feel appreciated!  Demonstrate your appreciation every chance you get.  Send a “Thank You” card to a colleague for a job well done.  Send a “Friendship Card” to someone who’s gone out of their way to help you.  Bring home flowers to your wife (even wildflowers picked in the woods mean a great deal) to show appreciation to your wife or significant other – “Just Because!”  (The first time she’ll think you’re fooling around on her, but do it often enough and she’ll soon begin to appreciate it.  Demonstrating your appreciation to others will help you be more cognizant of their good behaviors, and allow also you to live a more loving and less stressed life. 

NURTURING YOUR MIND. 

7. QUIET YOUR MIND AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.
Nurturing your mind is vital to stress free living. Go somewhere quiet.  No people talking, no TV or radio, no “hurry.”  Relax, concentrate on your breathing and let all of your thoughts go. You will then be able to listen fully to what your body is telling you and act more on your intuition and what's right for you physically and mentally.  You can then think more clearly on important matters, instead of filling your mind and your day with “clutter.”  You’ll be amazed at how your stress levels will drop if you will do this consistently.  

None of us can ever live a completely stress free life all the time.  In fact, trying to live completely stress free just causes more stress!  But combating and reducing stress will improve every area of your life.  By following the 7 “secrets” outlined above, thus nurturing personal relationships and nurturing your mind, you can make great strides toward combating the stress in your life. Part two of this series, “8 More Secrets For Combating Stress In Your Life,” covers more of nurturing your mind, as well as nurturing your body and nurturing your soul. Discover the rest of the “secrets” in the Feature Articles Section of K-9 Outfitters, A Division of Damascus Road Enterprises.

Danny Presswood, 2006 All Rights Reserved.