3-2-1 Contact

You only have one chance to make a first impression, so do it right!



You have browsed a number of personals and have found some that spark your interest. Now is the time to make your first contact. Start with a short e-mail. This is the time to talk about them. After all, if they are interested, they will check the personal profile you set up for yourself to find out all about you, so don’t make your first contact a laundry list of all your traits. Definitely remember to put your best foot forward!

Begin by telling them what about their personal ad made you want to contact them. Be specific and descriptive. If it was something in their smile on the photo, tell them how warm you think their smile is. If it is something funny in their words, let them know how hard you were laughing and how much you enjoyed it.

Do not send out a form letter. You don’t want to contact each person the exact same way. This shouldn’t be a numbers game. It should be about quality. When I had my personal ad posted I would get emails from men just simply stating “I think we would be hot together” or “check me out”, and that would be all they said. Why would I, or anyone else, waste their time responding to that when we have a great note from a person whom obviously paid attention to what we said and who we are. Would you? Keep in mind, if you wouldn’t respond to it, don’t write it to someone else.

Keep your intentions obvious. Don’t write a raunchy note if you are looking for a serious relationship. Starting out communication that way can only give someone the idea that you are looking for just one thing. Which is fine if you really are. You don’t want to overwhelm them either by saying something like “I am looking for a Daddy for my kids” or “I plan on being married by the end of the year!”. However, you do want to be clear either through your personal ad or through your contact note exactly what you are seeking.

Always be honest. At this point the person you will hurt most by trying to be someone or something you are not is yourself. Be honest as you communicate with your new friends. After all, you want someone to love you for who you really are, not who you can pretend to be.

Don’t forget…use your wit. The people who use their humor get the best responses and keep people coming back for more.