This is part-2 of this series ... ... ... you've made contact. If it feels good there or if you sense that it will, keep ... Don't push yourself to do more than you want at
This is part-2 of this series called
Anal Sex
Making Contact
Now you've made contact. If it feels good there or if you sense that it will, keep exploring. Don't push yourself to do more than you want at any one time - pace yourself comfortably. But try to tune in on your rear; discover when it's tight and when it's loose, and how you can control this. At some point you'll want to take the plunge, inserting a finger inside. It's a remarkable discovery, that you can do this, and opens up a world of new sensations. Be aware that the rectum is a sturdy, flexible organ and can't be hurt by fingers, a penis or other similar objects, unless you violently intend to do so. If you don't make your finger force your ass, or your ass force your finger, they will work well together. Sharp edges like fingernails can scratch it, and that's not good, to trim your nail a little first. But if it can take all your excrement it can take smaller things like fingers and cocks.
Usually there's nothing inside the end-part of the rectum; but sometimes there might be small particles. You'll discover that these are harmless and easily washed off after. Or you can clean out your rectum first, douching with an enema bottle and warm water.
Now, I suggest you lie back on your bed (or wherever), and bend your legs to bring your feet up close to your rear. Get into an enjoyable masturbation with one hand, and grease a finger of the other with KY or another lubricant. Then place it at your anus, and push very gently, slowly. Your finger will go in just a little. If you want to get your finger in farther, you must keep pushing gently and firmly, and release the anus muscle. Then you will feel your finger go all the way through, past the thick muscle and into the soft, quiet rectum. It may feel uncomfortable at first, because you've taught yourself to regard anything in the rectum as dark and dirty, and you'll want to push it out. But take it easy; try letting your finger rest there as you're masturbating. You may feel a little burning or irritation, but this will turn to pleasure if your masturbation is feeling good. If you like, climax with your finger inside, and see how it feels. If all this seems good to you, keep up the exploration. If it bothers you, withdraw and try again later, take your time.
Loosening Up
Now you'll want to learn to loosen it enough to let in larger sized objects. It may seem at first like your anus has a separate personality, doing things in its own way. But this is only because you've separated it in your mind. If you get to know it better, it'll eventually make friends with you, and the separation will disappear. After using your finger to meet it, get to know your anus more intimately.
You can trace warm wet rings around the outside of the anus. After inserting a finger you can massage it, pressing outward in a circle, tensing and calming it, trying to curl your finger around its side, feeling its touch through the skin. While exploring, if you act like you're shitting, pushing out, this will help even more. Practice stretching and tensing/calming your anus around your finger; you want to do this until it can be widened easily and painlessly. Next you can insert two (or more) fingers, seeing how far you can bend them apart.
Later, you might want to try a dildo (a straight, smooth, round tipped object like those found in sex shops). It's a good idea to use something that won't break, such as plastic or rubber. Glass objects can sometimes shatter. You could use a candle but there is the risk of it breaking and leaving half stuck inside, so be careful. Otherwise feel free to indulge, since you can only hurt your rectum with sharp objects or violent jabbing motions.
Experimenting With Your Partner
You might want to move right on to experimenting with your partner. And this is also another way to learn about your ass. Say to him "I'd sure like to enjoy anal pleasures, but I'm not used to it and a little afraid," Then your partner can turn you on. He can place his fingers at your anus during sex. He can, if he likes, suck and tongue your anus, or insert his finger(s). These are called analingus and postillioning, and can be soothing, warm, and exciting. A nice thing is for your partner to masturbate you as his finger is inserted in your rectum. If neither of you can get this far, because your anus just won't relax, it means you're anxious or you simply don't know how to relax it yet. This is not always the easiest thing to learn, and there's no reason to feel bad about it, since the anus is very likely to just follow old habits of not opening up. It takes time.
Take risks only when you really feel safe, and don't allow yourself to be forced open. It helps to talk about this, and how you're feeling. One especially nice act that can relax your rear is for your partner, during sex, to simply trace soft rings around the opening, pressing with one or two lubricated fingertips, going around and around. This usually has a calming effect. If, after much gentle trying over a period of time, your anus just won't loosen, I would suggest you might have a mental wish not to be entered that you aren't aware of. If this might be the case, explore the possibility in your mind and with your partner. You may want to see a counselor or sex therapist, or you may decide that anal intercourse just isn't for you.
If you do progress in your explorations, the time will come for your partner to insert his penis. If this is what you both want, let it happen, as it will, without planning on doing it. Be easy about it, trying one of the positions I've described. It may take several (or many) tries, so relax and feel the sensations. If it hurts, and it might, just ask him to withdraw gently. Some pain may happen, and this is usually OK. If it's a strong or sharp pain, back off. You will discover that the mild pain turns to blissful delight during sex. As he enters, you may experience a violent urge to go to the bathroom, or you may imagine you're going to piss or shit right there. This is a fantasy of your mind and body, through lack of use and conditioning; if you respect these feelings and have patience, they will change through practice. Also, if you're sexually excited these feelings and any tightness will lessen considerably. The best rule is to take it in steps, going easy and smooth. It may seem difficult for a while, but you may be surprised by a rapid change from discomfort to sweet pleasure.
This is part-2 of this series called
Anal Sex
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Sex Positions Of Kamasutra - 3
Sitting Sex Position:Sitting Sex Position is excellent for the experimental in mind. These positions are excellent for the male because it's not too strenuous and can help delay ejaculation. The best way to perform this sexual position is on a chair.Anal Sex part-3
After InsertionAfter insertion, give a luxurious amount of time in becoming used to it. Let him worry about what to do, and you just pay attention to the warmth. Let him worry about what to do, and you just pay attention to the warmth and sensuality of it. Try masturbating, this is a regular part of intercourse, and may surprise you with its intensity.Anal Sex part-1
IntroductionAnal sex can be a safe and enjoyable form of sexual activity for many couples if the proper preparation is taken. Without care it can be painful and even dangerous. All too often anal sex is a one time experience. In a typical scenario, the couple attempts to try penetration with little preparation. The one whose anus is being invaded with little warning screams in shock and agony and ends up throwing herself away from the offending member and hitting her head on the headboard. Anal sex is never attempted again. Here is how to avoid that scenario.