If we grew up in contentious families, this time in our country can bring back memories.
Probably the one area we can all agree is the idea that “these are contentious times.” What do contentious times in our country (if not the world), mean to the codependent?
First let’s go back to our definition of codependency: Codependency is learned personality traits that negatively affect knowing one’s self and others. Codependents become dependent on “others’” approval and attempt to control the situation in order to get this approval. Codependents often avoid honesty and confrontation, which can enable abusive behavior.
Contentious Times and Codependency WorkFor this article, the last distinction is most important for us to look at. By avoiding confrontation, the codependent does not require the abusive person to change or improve. If the codependent’s only tool is to avoid confrontation during contentious times – “Houston we have a problem.”
Am I recommending we all start being contentious? NO! I have always maintained if we can access indignation early on, many situations would never have to go to anger, or even worse, rage.
If we grew up in contentious families where we experienced lots of fighting, this time in our country can bring back memories. We were children who had to figure things on our own, so many of us chose some form of codependency. Fast-forward to this contentious time and, if we haven’t done our codependency work, we may find ourselves needing a few more tools.
Let’s look at some places the codependent is at risk during contentious times:
Continue reading here : http://www.recovery.org/pro/articles/codependency-and-contentious-times-part-i/
Navigating Recovery from a Borderline Partner
Navigating a relationship with a spouse who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be a complex and emotionally taxing journey. The decision to stay or leave the marriage is deeply personal and often hinges on factors such as the well-being of children and personal values. Establishing emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining mental health, as taking on a partner's emotional burdens can lead to failure. It's essential to recognize that each person is responsible for managing their own emotions and seeking professional help when needed. For a comprehensive guide on healing from a relationship with a borderline spouse, read the full article here.My Spouse has Borderline Personality Disorder!
“ If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account.”Have You Heard About Backbone Power The Science of Saying No Audiobook?
Start saying Yes to yourself and No to being used/abused/exploited!