A woman-centred psychotherapist explores the impact that the media has on our self-worth and offers healthy alternatives to feeling good about yourself regardless of what you see in magazines and on television.
Who would have thought that there would come a day when my mother and me would meet as two strong, healthy, and brilliant women; delighting in each other’s company and challenging and supporting each other in the quest to make our individual and collective dreams come true?
Certainly not me. There was a time (not so long ago) that I was in the throes of a life threatening eating disorder- a time when the chasm between mother and daughter seemed insurmountable. She wanted desperately to help but didn’t know how. I needed help but didn’t have a clue about how to ask for it.
Fast-forward fifteen years to the present. Today I am a successful psychotherapist who empowers women who feel stuck to rid themselves of the chains that bind them into self-destructive behavior patterns- mostly in the form of eating disorders. At the age of 36, I am in awe of the life I have now and am blown away by how far I’ve come on my journey to health and well being. Free of an eating disorder which once consumed me for many of my young years, the hell that used to be my life way back when, seems now like a distant memory. Now I help others who are where I used to be…I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined the life I have now back then…
It’s a sunny, muggy Ontario spring morning as I step into the airporter bus from my mother’s driveway, choking back tears. I have just spent the past five days with a woman I find increasingly wise and fascinating, who also happened to give me the gift of life.
We have both come so far and enjoy celebrating our successes as women. It seems fitting to me that I have just spent such a pleasant and healing time with my mother directly after attending a conference in Toronto put on by NEDIC (National Eating Disorder Information Centre). The conference title was, “Shades of Grey: Body Image and Self-Esteem” and was the first of its kind in Canada.
While the topic of disordered eating is vast, I will limit myself to one facet for the purposes of this article. I plan on elaborating on many others in future so stay tuned...
One issue that always pops up in my therapy work with clients experiencing disordered eating is how the media makes them feel bad about themselves by projecting an ideal beauty standard that is impossible for us to attain. To help women increase feelings of self-worth, I encourage clients to become ‘media savvy’, so that they can become critical of the messages they are being sent which are aimed to sell products, not to help women feel good about themselves.
On this note, I will highlight one of the keynote presentations from the NEDIC conference entitled, “Re-shaping Reality: Media Impact on Body Image and Self-Esteem” by Shari Graydon. Shari was the President of Mediawatch for many years; an invaluable resource which empowers Canadian citizens to speak up and out against harmful advertising. She has written two fabulous books in this vain, which I urge you to check out on her website: www.sharigraydon.com
Here is a summary of the presentation she gave at the conference:
To start letting go of the power the media has over how you feel about yourself, I’ll leave you with five things you can do to take your power back and increase feelings of self-worth:
And if all else fails, say this mantra that I learned at the conference over and over again:
I AM MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU SEE.
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