I Need Something That’ll Work – Hurry!

Aug 27 11:09 2009 Dr. Dennis W. Neder Print This Article

How about an approach that REALLY works? A guy needs something special and unique. Dr. Dennis gives him a new tool - and perspective.

Dear Dr. Neder:

I’m a senior in high school and there’s this really cute girl in my psych class. I want to find a way to talk to her or get her to notice me or something but I don’t know how.

Most stuff online would say to see her outside of class and just walk up and say something like,Guest Posting "Hey aren’t you in psych class?" but I think that just sounds stupid, awkward, and wouldn’t work at this age.

I’m not sure if I really even see her in the halls either. She doesn’t sit that close to me in class so it’s pretty hard for me to think of something.

I was wondering if you could help me with as many ideas?

Thank you very much!


What you're asking for is what so many guys ask me for - the sure, magical thing that will make her fall in love with you.

Here’s the problem: it doesn't exist. Stop searching for it - you're just wasting your time. Trust me on this: if it DID exist, I'd be out of a job.

Here's what you need: "context".

Context (or more specifically, the "context approach") is the best approach there is. You can use it anywhere with anyone. It's not magic however, but it's highly effective and will work with this girl just as well as it does with anyone else.

First off however, you've got to get over these preconceived ideas that things "don't work". They don't work based on what? Based on your decades of successful approaches? Based on your years of experience and hundreds of successful relationship examples that you've earned?

Come on here; stop looking for magic and start using the tried-and-true successes.

Here's how the context approach works:

You simply think of the answer to one question: "what do she and I have in common at this place, at this time, in this situation?"

Your answer to that question is your "context" for approaching her. You actually have tons of context already! You are in class together, you sit near each other, you have to do the same homework assignments, etc., etc., etc.

Any one of these is sufficient context to approach this girl. Keep in mind you're NOT going to make this girl fall in love with you from your approach. In fact, the more contrived your approach, the LESS she's going to be attracted to you! Girls aren't stupid. They see right though these things.

That's why the context approach is so beautiful! It doesn't give her any specific notions of what you want! You're just some cute, friendly guy that she might just want to get to know better. It's really easy and more important, she'll never see it coming.

The other aspect of the context approach is this: get the hell to it already! It doesn't get easier if you wait - it gets tougher. I want you to use this approach first thing tomorrow. Don't wait for the "perfect time" because that never comes. The "perfect time" is the time you have right now - wherever and whenever you have it.

It's time to nut-up here Alec and get the approach out of the way. You have many steps yet to go and this is only the first (and frankly, the easiest) one.

Best regards…
Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).

Copyright (c) 2009, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

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About Article Author

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. He has written 14 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on 2 others. He's also written hundreds of articles, answered over 30,000 reader/viewer questions and has been on over a thousand radio and TV shows. "Dr. Dennis" is funny, direct and intuitive and has a unique ability to get right to the heart of the issue.

Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com and http://beingaman.tv. You can also follow his micro-blog at: http://twitter.com/dwneder.

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