That Delicate Matter of Second Or Third Baby Showers - Can You Even Have More Than One?

So, how to navigate the do's and don'ts when you're preggers again ... and again? After all, it's probably safe to assume that this baby rocks your world just as much as your first did.

So is a second (or third) shower okay, or will you be viewed as an opportunistic gift grabber? Is there any sneaky way around the horns of this dilemma - or must you throw in the baby towel, pass on the shower and just order out for pizza instead, skip the anchovies? Read on for the answers!

 

Minding the Old-School Rules.

As clear as Miss Manners & Co. want to be, modern times have a way of turning water into mud.  Still, there are certain circumstances that will help even sticklers warm up to your second or third baby shower when they might ordinarily raise a fuss.

For example, if baby one was a girl and baby two's a boy, you'll have a few different needs. Even some hard-core etiquettistas will give you a pass.  Same goes with late-in-life babies: your last one was a decade and a half ago? Doh! - you probably gave away that exquisite bassinet. Then, there's the "first baby with my new husband John." Ouch, our heads!

The old-school intention is to literally shower a brand-new mom with most of her baby needs so she can put all her family resources toward delivery expenses, diapers and so on. Given how bounteous and generous the traditional shower tends to be, Aunt Matilda may loudly object if you have a second full-on shower for Baby Two ten months after your firstborn debuted.

But do a reality check with your social circle: if all your friends are having second and third baby showers, you want one too, and a dear friend offers to throw you one, don't miss the fun. Objectors may skip it, but don't be offended: we live in complex times.

 

Dancing the New-School Tango.

A lot of moms are sensitive to mixed feelings about a second or third baby shower, but still want to celebrate this equally momentous event with their homies. Two clever answers to this dilemma: "baby sprinkles" and "Sip & Sees," which take the focus off gifts but keep all the fun.

Baby Sprinkles. It's not a shower, it's merely a sprinkle! "Sprinkles" are an ideal way for second-time moms to celebrate without straining the pockets - or patience - of their BFFs. Instead of a registry ranging from double electric breast pumps to organic orthopedic mattresses, the new mom gets gifted with a few things she surely needs: hello, diapers! And maybe her friends can go in together on a larger must-have, like that double stroller that suddenly comes in handy. Light-hearted, small and informal, these are stress-free events for a good friend to host.

Sip & See. Sip & Sees are hip, easy to plan and ideal for introducing new shower trends, like a co-ed guest list. The main idea is that guests get to peek at the new arrival, and mom gets to let her hair down a bit (at last!). As with sprinkles, gifts aren't the focus here - Baby Jacob or Jessica is, not to mention their darling new nursery. Make this a come-and-go or open house shower, have some stylish but simple decorations, and serve light finger foods and some champagne punch.

Since your little one hasn't had much chance to develop an Olympic-class immune system, have your guests wash their hands before passing the baby around, or dole out antibacterial towlettes. About one month after the baby's born is a terrific time for a Sip & See.

 

Who Hosts the Sip & See or Baby Sprinkle?

Since both these celebrations are about the baby and the guests - not the gifts - you're less likely to run into a buzzsaw of feelings about who hosts it. If you've been dying to have one of those uber-chic "showers" with letter-pressed coasters and blue martinis and cherish the idea of micromanaging it, this is your chance! Assemble some cute favors to thank your guests for kindly showing up, and be sure to kick back with your own glass of bubbly - you've earned it!