Leprechauns Worry About Protecting Their Gold on Saint Patrick’s Day

Mar 5
07:30

2012

Jessica Harmon

Jessica Harmon

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Before this Saint Patrick’s Day the National Coalition of Leprechauns (NCL) is conjoining for a meeting on how they can protect their pots of gold. In years past the leprechauns have had some difficulty with keeping their gold safe from prying human eyes.

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Before this Saint Patrick’s Day the National Coalition of Leprechauns (NCL) is conjoining for a meeting on how they can protect their pots of gold. In years past the leprechauns have had some difficulty with keeping their gold safe from prying human eyes. This has led to an extreme credit crisis in the leprechaun community. Many of the nation’s leprechaun’s lost their gold last year,Leprechauns Worry About Protecting Their Gold on Saint Patrick’s Day Articles at record levels compared to the years before it. And though last year was the highest it has been in the last five, it is still part of a growing increase in the number of leprechauns who have had their gold found at the end of a rainbow. In fact, only a small percentage of the leprechaun community have managed to hold on to their gold in the last ten years or so. There are only a meager 45% of the leprechaun community that still have their family’s entire pot of gold in tact to this day. But this year the NCL is planning to do something about it!

The NCL will be conjoining on March fifteenth, two days before the planned festivities begin. Patty O’Gould, the leader of the NCL, stated in a press release that the leprechaun population is becoming concerned with this widespread theft. Studies conducted by the NCL have shown that there has been a recent trend in leprechaun gold being stolen by people disguised as leprechauns.

“This identity theft has to stop!” said O’Gould, getting a crowd of leprechauns fired up. “We have to work out a way to stop having our identities stolen! I hope we can all come together this March fifteenth to teach each other some real solutions to combat the problem of leprechaun identity theft.”

It is expected that the leprechauns will discuss some of the best techniques available on how to protect their identities. One important thing that the leprechauns may want to keep in mind is to stand watch on their pots of gold this Saint Patrick’s Day. They should be checking their gold often for signs of security breaches. They should also discuss important methods for keeping their identities private, and the whereabouts of their gold hidden. Leprechauns will likely be advised not to give out the location of their rainbow to anyone, no matter what, and to make sure they have all the keys and identity information for accessing their pot of gold kept securely at home.

“Without our gold, we’re left with no way to pay our auto loans and our mortgages!” continued O’Gould. “There’s a staggering number of leprechauns out there who have had to let their credit scores slip because they lost their savings to identity theft. Many of us are still struggling with low credit scores because of the problems we’ve had to endure from identity theft. It’s becoming a real problem when we can’t get approved for new credit lines that we need to keep going. When our cars break down, we can’t get a new auto loan because no one will offer them to us!”