A Struggle at the Gym ~

Started the morning off waking up, getting ready to head over to the gym.  Burr is it cold outside.  Driving to the gym I was thinking that I was awake and ready to hit the weights hard.  Started off on the stationary bike to do our warm-ups; then off to the weights.  I seemed ready as ready as I can be but there was something else that was going on, that I was not aware of. 

It was my turn to bench press ~ did my warm up ~ now I am prepared and ready for my next set. My mind was set, the body felt good and I was ready to watch which exercises would go up.   But I started to have this heat wave hit me.  Drank some water to get ready for my set; water cools the body.   I did my set, but I could tell that I was not all there.  Felt like the body was catching a bug of some sort, but I was not going to allow this to effect my workout. 

To make this short, I became very disappointed in my workout ~ I was weak.  I was recognizing that my body was burning up with warmth, it was physically tired and I was on the edge with tears.  After my first set of bench press, Michael, my husband and trainer thought we needed to leave, but I shook my head no because I wanted to continue on.  The only thing he wanted if we stayed was that I only do one set of each exercise.  I tried to keep shaking it off mentally, whatever this hidden thing was going on, but nothing was working.  I did not like the fact that I could only do one set of each exercise.  I was not happy with the weights I had to use and the disappointment from one exercise to the next, which kept bringing another emotion in.  But, I did not want to quit! 

I did not want to face it, but with the family death that just occurred, somewhere in one of those brain cells kept this emotion hidden but surfaced in the body workout.  It kept showing up throughout the process of the day.

 I gave it my best, watched my form and stayed in the gym until the routine was completed.  It was not completed the way I would have liked it, but I completed something.  Something is better than nothing; even with the disappointments, we walked out of the gym.  But as my trainer would reinforce, there will be days like this and we all go through them; so you’re not alone when you go through yours.

Today in reflecting back, I feel good that I experienced that particular episode.  It wasn’t about the weights, it wasn’t about the body, it was about staying in place, continuing with the routine while things are not going the way you want them.  It might not hit you at that particular moment but somewhere in time, within that day or the following, the emotion will hit and a smile will come to pass leaving you with a reward that no matter what and how you feel, you completed a task.  The reward is gratification and satisfaction.  Tying all the emotions into one package is a complete balance in life ~ bringing you back with a smile upon your lips ~ one step after another.