How to Live a Sober Life

How can we live a sober life?

For the true alcoholic, this is a mind bending question; an almost unreachable proposition. People who are trapped in a cycle of addiction find it extremely difficult to visualize the sober life. They might start to envision such a life, but the illusion immediately breaks down for them, because they know that they would not be happy living that way. So they try to rearrange their vision and find some way to make it work, but they cannot. The fear of facing life sober is too great, so they continue to drink. Even if an alcoholic is basically miserable, they picture a life of sobriety to be far worse, and they cannot imagine themselves ever being truly happy without being drunk.

So there are really two issues here: one is how to live a sober life, and the other is how to even go about getting there.

Living a sober life - this actually has very little to do with the idea of not drinking. Of course, if you are living a sober life, you're not going to be drinking. But for the true alcoholic, how can this ever be sustainable if they are miserable while gritting their teeth in order to avoid alcohol at any cost? Of course it is not sustainable, as most any alcoholic will return to the bottle before they reach a suicidal level of desperation. And please understand that for a true alcoholic, suicidal desperation can be a very real thing.

Alcoholics are passionate people. They love to drink and it really does flip that special switch for them and it truly electrifies their life. The problem is that it eventually quits working as their tolerance increases and it becomes impossible to "get happy" anymore. Because they are passionate people, they need a passionate solution for recovery. If you simply strip away the booze and the drugs then an alcoholic is left with a hollow shell of a life; they cannot elicit any passion or excitement about themselves without returning to the bottle.

Because of this level of passion, it stands to reason that any alcoholic who is living a sober life must live it with passion. This is the solution. Not behavior modification or counseling on Tuesdays and Thursdays or even 12 step programs. Passion.

Passion is what makes the sober life a success.

Understand that 12 step programs can still work great for some alcoholics, as long as they are passionate about the program and about their life.

Do this test: ask any successful recovering alcoholic if they are as passionate about life in recovery as they were about drinking. They will always tell you that yes, they are. Otherwise they would not be sober. They would be drunk.

As we live and breath we are expending our life energy and our passion and we need something to direct that towards. If you take away the booze then you need to find a passion to replace that with. This is what defines the creative life in recovery. This is what makes for a sober life. Not just quitting drinking or going through the motions of some program and sharing about how your day went. Instead you need to find passion and purpose in your life in order to truly overcome alcohol.

Of course it is one thing to define the sober life in recovery, but quite another thing to actually claw your way out of the grip of addiction and get there.