Marriage in Crisis Options

Jan 12 08:53 2012 Bellaisa Filippis Print This Article

Is your marriage in crisis? Your marriage is probably not somewhere that you thought you would ever be,Guest Posting is it? You somehow landed into a place where your spouse and you are fighting - all the time, and there seems to be a great distance between you and your spouse nowadays. This is the point in your marriage when you are deciding what to do and where to go with this relationship. But what options do you really have with a marriage in crisis?

5 Options For a Marriage in Crisis

Give Each Other Some Space

This is doesn't mean that you have to end the marriage; it just means that your marriage in crisis could use some time to heal. When you take a step back from an emotionally charged situation it becomes easier to let your emotions calm down and allow your rational thinking to shine through! This means that you are not making decisions based on your emotions, which can cause irrational and unproductive decisions to be made.

This may also be a time of reflection about what you really want out of a marriage. You may find that you have just been staying in the marriage out of duty or guilt (two reasons not to stay in a marriage), and you may realize that you really don't want to be in this marriage at this time. Alternatively, you may have a sudden realization about how important this marriage really is to you and that realization will allow your marriage in crisis to find a way to heal and grow stronger.

Seek Some Therapy for Your Marriage in Crisis

A therapist can help a marriage in crisis because that's what they do! Therapy has gotten such a bad name over the years - as if it's something to be ashamed of, but it's not! Therapy is there to help you see things in a new light and come up with solutions to your marriage problems that you would have never come up with on your own.

Marriage therapy is not the same as seeking help from your friends or family for two reasons:

1. The therapist does not have emotional attachments to you or your spouse. They are coming from an objective point of view and therefore can help you without being blinded by emotions or judgments.

2. They are trained to understand human behavior and to see solutions that can heal your marriage in crisis. They have learned from the people who know what they are talking about, and therefore they know what they are talking about unlike your Uncle Fred.

Have an Open and Direct Conversation with Your Spouse

When a marriage in crisis is left with no other options you may find yourself laying it all out on the table with your spouse. This can be a last resort solution for many marriages, and sometimes it works. Saying what you want to say and letting your spouse say what they want to say, and really listening to each other, may be the answer you are looking for!

A lot of times things that need to be said get held inside out of shame, guilt, or embarrassment. But those internal feelings need to be spoken in order for your partner to really understand where you are coming from and why you are acting the way you are. Sometimes complete honesty can heal a marriage in crisis like no other form of treatment can.

Get a Divorce

Yep, this is an option for a marriage in crisis and many marriages take this option. Divorce has been steadily increasing over the years and it's an option to take when all else has failed. It's also an option to take when you have just given up on the relationship and don't want to put the effort in to saving your marriage in crisis. The emotional and financial cost of a divorce can be a huge surprise to many people so make sure it's something you really want to do.

Take Action to Improve Yourself in Your Marriage

If you are in a marriage in crisis then you have to realize that the only person in the marriage you can change is you, and sometimes that change is enough to save the marriage. I don't mean that you change, your partner stays the same, and the relationship improves. I do mean that if you change yourself then your partner will likely change with you, and yes, your marriage in crisis can improve.

So which of these actions is right for your marriage is crisis? Only you know the answer to that. Do what feels right and put the work in to save the marriage, if that's what you want. Remember that many people have lived through a marriage in crisis and come out the other end happier, and you can as well!


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Bellaisa Filippis
Bellaisa Filippis

Wondering how to save your marriage is the first step in actually saving it. It shows that you care enough about the marriage to want to continue on with it.

Bellaisa's website, the Relationship Circle, has relationship advice for men and women.

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