In the hustle of family life, it's easy to forget the romance that brought two people together. Yet, a simple act of continuing to date your spouse can be the secret to a lasting marriage. A study by The National Marriage Project found that couples who regularly have a date night are less likely to get divorced and report higher levels of satisfaction in their marriages. So, if you're looking to keep the spark alive, it's time to pencil in that dinner for two.
One of the most cherished memories I have from the previous year wasn't the joy of my daughters unwrapping their holiday gifts or their school stage performances. Instead, it was a date night with my husband during a blustery November evening. We were overwhelmed with parenting duties and craved a break. Heeding my mother's wisdom that "happy couples continue to date each other forever," we booked a table at a fine dining establishment and arranged for a babysitter.
Despite the late babysitter and the stormy weather, we made it to our reservation. The evening was splendid, with exquisite food and wine, and impeccable service. We consciously set aside parental concerns and reconnected as a couple. Laughter filled the air as we reminisced about our pre-parental days. This night out rekindled our affection and reminded us why we chose to walk down the aisle together.
Despite the clear benefits, finding time and resources for date nights can be challenging. Early in our marriage, the costs of raising children and the difficulty in finding reliable childcare often deterred us. However, my mother's advice to make our marriage a priority resonated deeply. "Children are the result of the marriage, not the reason for it," she would say.
We realized that without nurturing our relationship, we risked becoming strangers once the children were grown. Thus, we committed to a monthly date night, though weekly is ideal, as my mother suggests. If your partner hesitates, communicate your love and desire for personal time together rather than making them feel obligated.
Scheduling a date night amidst a calendar brimming with obligations is never simple. My husband and I recently had to postpone our plans due to a school event for our daughters. Disappointing, yes, but not a deterrent. We'll reschedule for the following week, maintaining our commitment to our marriage's health.
Date nights may require effort and planning, but the investment in your marriage is invaluable. As my mother counseled, a happy marriage depends on it. So, take the time to reconnect with your spouse. It's not just about going out—it's about growing together.
For more insights on the importance of date nights, explore the findings of The National Marriage Project or check out the Gottman Institute, which offers research-based advice for maintaining healthy relationships.
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