At First Glance

I admit it. I am a junkie when it comes to learning
how to learn. Thinking, the brain, solutions, philosophy. I
would rather talk, think, read or listen to these topics
than almost any other. I really enjoy applying these concepts to
my work, my business, my craft and my relationships.

We went to the library this week. Emma, at four, has
a penchant for Non Fiction. She got a book about Space
and a book about Nature. I also slid in "Green Eggs
and Ham" by Dr. Seuss because I enjoy reading it and
she enjoys listenning.

I also picked up a book by one of the leading
authorities in the world in the field of Creative
Thinking. "de Bono's Thinking Course" leaped off the
shelf and into my hands.

Reading it was like attending a class reunion. The
words were so familiar! The language and expression
reminded me of what happens whenever I go back to Dana Point
and talk to someone who speaks Southern Orange Countese.
Somehow I start saying things like "No way!" with that
certain almost surferesque lilting quality.

One of the first exercises is called The PMI. A very
simple attention directing tool which takes away
prejudgement and automatic thinking, it is a tool that
can be used in almost any situation be it requesting
consideration of an idea at work or deciding upon a
restaurant for dinner or assessing where to go to
college.

The PMI stands for Plus, Minus and Interesting.

No, I did not say Pros and Cons.

Pros and Cons attach judgement while the PMI steers
clear of any sort of prejudgement. It simply states what
is. In fact, often times one statement can fit in all
three categories. The PMI is about looking at the
question. It is about surveying it for information,
for clues, for subtleties. It is not something to get
stuck in or bogged down by however.

It is a quick thinking tool that can shift you into
balance OR it may show you what is really the truth.

Today at church I walked right past a bulletin board.

There were pictures on it from last week's skating
party. I vaguely remembered a flash bulb in my face, so I
around and looked more carefully.

Sure enough, there Sam and I were in all our Skating
Party glory. All I could see after crooning over Sam
was that I decided my smile lines made me look old. I
decided in that moment "YUCK! And that is being seen
by everyone who walks by! How humiliating!"

I continued on my walk towards the sanctuary where
Sam and I sang and listened and prayed.

After worship I visited with many friends, including
Glenda, who has recently joined the ranks of those of us in
our fourth decade. Like me, she has several preschoolers. She
looked really great so I complimented her newly svelte
figure.

We talked and laughed about being forty and wearing
flattering suits for our birthdays. She said to me, "I have
noticed YOU have seemed more relaxed and content lately." I paused
for a moment. We said our "See you laters!"

I went back and looked at the same picture.

Looking at it through plus, minus and interesting
eyes, here is what I saw:

Plus: I have a genuine, caught in the moment smile on
my face.
It captures a moment when the family was at a party
together.
Because the rink was dark, the spotlight is on me
and Sam, not the background "stuff".
I have crows feet which trace the history of 40 years
of smiles
Even with no makeup, I look ok
I have my hands full AND I am calm and happy.

Minus: I have crows feet
Sam is not smiling
You can not see Emma's body or face, whose leg and
skate are a part of the photo
What is up with my hair?
I really need a manicure
Sam is scratching his head

Interesting: I have a green glowing necklace like a
halo on my head. (Memory of St Patrick's Day)
Sam is not smiling
I am sliding a skate on the bodyless Emma's foot while
balancing Sam and catch the photographer's eye just as she
shoots the picture.
Emma's skating foot is sock less
Sam is wearing a BEST BABY sweatshirt
I wonder where Katherine was when this was taken?
In the darkness, our family unit shines forth

At first glance, I did not like the picture. I was
too caught up in my perception of what I believed to be an
unattractive photo.

Sam and I went back to look again, and my thoughts had
been transformed. The picture was still the same: my
perception had subtly changed. My crows feet were
indicative of many years of laughter and smiling. The
halo on my head showed how goofy I can be with my
children, even in public. My unmanicured hands and no
make up face illustrate that once again, having an
hour or so of fun with my little ones within the
context of a wider community is much more significant
than whether or not I look glamorous.

At second glance, what a magnificent picture!

Try out de Bono's PMI technique on a question you are
sorting through in you life such as "Should I change to this
job situation this month?" or "Is this contract for the
teacher's in our school district adequate" or "Should we switch
our family dinner times so all of us can eat together?".

The best way to find the power of the PMI is to
practice it. While at first it may feel clunky, it will soon become
a simple way to make decisions. It also will open discussion
for the people around you to come to collaborative conclusions
without inflicting judgement upon one another.

Commit to at least experiment with this powerful
technique.

You will think yourself to greater success: at first
glance, at second glance, at every glance.

For more information on Edward de Bono, visit his
official website:

http://www.edwdebono.com/course/index.htm