Jealousy

Something profound happened to me the other day. Actually, profound things happen to all of us every day. It's just a matter of paying attention. That's another story for another day.

Something occurred, the circumstances not particularly relevant. What is relevant is my reaction, the awareness of my mind set, what I did with the feelings and the outcome.

This person I know and respect, with his wisdom and experience, sent out a message to his list. It was so brilliant (to me!). I wished I had the forethought to do it and immediately thought, "Why can't I do that?". An instant feeling of jealousy arose. I'm not proud to admit it! I'm not the jealous type. Those of you who know me personally could attest to that. These feelings completely caught me off guard. I am, however, very proud of the process I put myself through to work it out.

Because the feeling of jealousy was quite foreign to me, it was rather easy to instantly acknowledge the feeling was not me, rather I was a person experiencing the feeling. This enabled me to allow it to run its course.

This involves sitting with the feeling and all its discomfort. Oh, yeah, it was uncomfortable. Did not want to be feeling what I was feeling. I kept saying to myself, "This isn't me, this isn't me..." It did make me wonder what it was all about, though. Rather than block it out and ignore it, I decided to discover what it meant to me and my current situation. So I sat with it. Treated it like a new friend. Well, you know what I mean. Not chummy chummy, but a new acquaintance.

Eventually, after allowing it to turn, toss in my head, allowing it to just be there (and this comes with KNOWING without a doubt that all these feelings which come up serve as a purpose to our higher selves), a truth was revealed.

There is always a positive side to a perceived negative. Yin/yang ALWAYS. Trust this. Search for it, be open to it.

The truth revealed was yes, I strive to be in a similar position. Yes, I was somewhat frustrated I had not achieved some of my goals yet. Time to take a closer look at my goals, then.

The next, logical, forward-thinking step is to turn this learning situation into a positive, present tense affirmation. I needed to find the gift to be grateful for in the situation, which I did. I desired to let go of the jealousy, knowing it had served it's purpose, which I did.

An important point in this lesson was in acknowledging my feelings - the so called 'good' and 'bad'. In actual fact, they are neither good nor bad, they simply just are. Adopting this attitude leads to total acceptance of self. A total acceptance of self is acceptance of spirit, acceptance of Universe, allowing you to open to more.

It's what you DO with those feelings that matter. One can be FEELING jealous and not ACT jealous. Notice your feeling of jealousy or whatever other commonly perceived negative emotion that occurs. Simply notice. Hold it in the forefront until the truth/purpose of it has been revealed. Feeling angry? That's okay. Do nothing. Sit with it. Listen and learn from it.

And be grateful for the lesson! As painful as it may be at the time. It's grand and exciting to come to new conclusions about yourself, adding to the faith that you can overcome any challenge presented to you.

For the record, I AM grateful to have been given this lesson. Without the feeling of jealousy, I may not have taken a closer look at my goals and asked myself if the plan is working for me. I chose to use the situation to fuel my vision, turning it into a positive experience. Who could ask for anything more?