Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

Oct 24
21:00

2004

Stephen Bucaro

Stephen Bucaro

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Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

By Stephen Bucaro

Do you know an individual at work who is a chronic
complainer? Are YOU a chronic complainer? People don't like
complainers. Listening to a chronic complainer gets people
depressed. They prefer to associate with people that make
them feel good. If you are always complaining about
something, people will start to ignore you.

If you're a chronic complainer, you're sabotaging yourself
and your success at work. In this article, I explain how
you can improve your outlook at work and improve your
prospects for success. The first thing you need to do is
get in touch with reality.

People are not perfect and you shouldn't expect them to be.
An organization is a group of people, so no company or
organization can be perfect. If you expect your organization
to be perfect, you need to change your expectations.

Instead of expecting things to be perfect, expect
everything to be totally screwed up at all times. Then on
the rare occasion when something does go right, you will
be pleasantly surprised.

There are many problems that you can't do anything about.
Learn to work around the things you can't change. Some
things you can change. Instead of whining and complaining,
take responsibility for a problem you can solve. Don't try
to change the world, focus on improving your own little
corner of the company.

You might realize that there are many problems you might be
able to solve. Don't try to solve all the problems at once.
Prioritize the things that you view as problems and choose
your battles. Attack the most important problem first.

When you complain, limit your complaint to one problem and
be specific. Along with your complaint, suggest a realistic
solution. If you can't think of a realistic solution to the
problem, then how do you expect someone else to solve the
problem?

Sometimes it's best to put your complaint in writing. Put
your written complaint aside for a day. Don't submit your
complaint until your writing is clear, logical, and
carefully thought out. By the time you finish, you may
realize that you didn't completely understand the problem,
or you may decide that the problem isn't worth complaining
about after all.

If your complaint involves a person, avoid attacking that
individual. Don't complain that the individual is stupid
or inconsiderate. Complain that what the individual did was
stupid or inconsiderate. If a person works really hard,
they might be able to change how they act, but they can
never change who they are.

Complaining about your boss or a higher manager is very
dangerous. Don't complain about the boss to your coworkers.
If your boss loses face, the only way to gain back their
self respect may be to fire you. Ask your boss for a
private meeting and discuss the problem in a calm and
polite manner.

Whether the person you are complaining about is your boss
or a coworker, try to make some compliments along with the
complaint. Everybody has good and bad characteristics. Make
sure the individual understands that you recognize and
appreciate their good characteristics. That person may not
realize that anyone thought they had good characteristics
and you may gain a new friend.

Note: Similar to never complaining about your boss to
coworkers, a consultant should never complain about his
company to the firm that he is hired out to.

It may be difficult to recognize, but all problems have a
good side. Many problems are opportunities in disguise.
Look for the positive side in every problem. Approach all
problems with a sense of humor. If you can find the
positives or the humor in a problem and you make positive
statements to your coworkers and your boss, you will
greatly improve your prospects for success at work.

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