Daily Routines for Appreciation

Copyright (c) 2008 Mary Ann Copson

When we were younger, my husband and I would get in bed at night and spend a few minutes going over our day. Over the 38 years this custom helped us remain connected even as it has evolved.

Our daily review had slowly turned into noting all the problems we had to deal with. And when that got to be a bit depressing for nightime talk we just dropped out the whole review altogether. When we noticed we were missing that connection we started up again with a new form – appreciations – and we love it.

At first it was a little forced but now it has grown and evolved into a robust and nurturing tradition.

We start by talking about at least three things we appreciate about the day. Sometimes we do have to reach a bit to find three things but mostly many more than three things just come flowing one after the other.

We add at least one appreciation from each of the following categories:

What we appreciate about each other

What we appreciate about ourselves

What we appreciate about our health

What we appreciate about our wealth/ prosperity

What we appreciate about ourselves as the creator of our own life

Plus, every night we rotate through all the members of our family and say at least one thing we appreciate about whose ever turn it is

We also add a thing or two that we appreciate about our dogs.

We end our Appreciations with our intentions for the night and our intentions for what we want to create for tomorrow.

You might be looking at this idea and get tired just thinking about doing it. Maybe it seems overwhelming to you – “I can’t think of that many things to appreciate” or “I don’t have that much time I have to get to sleep sometime tonight”.  But that is probably you just being stuck in your old ways.

Really, it only takes about 5 minutes. It is relaxing and fun to do. Plus, it is supportive, nurturing, and soothing, builds a great connective relationship, and certainly helps you sleep better than thinking about all that went wrong that day or all you have to do tomorrow.

I can remember so well the day that our "grandog" Ko-Hai got hit by a car. We really love that dog and it was such a touch and go day – would he make it or not? Just before going to bed, my son called from the animal hospital and wanted to talk to me about the Vet’s recommendations. The vet thought we should put Ko-Hai down. Ko-Hai was having a really hard time and didn’t look good at all. According to the vet “dogs who get hit by cars going 55 mph don’t live.” My son and I talked at length about what to do. We cried a lot and in the end he decided to let Ko-Hai have his chance to recover.

When I got in bed after that phone call and my husband started our Appreciation Ritual, I just cried and said I could not find anything in myself to appreciate that day. But he started anyway saying we had a lot to appreciate:

Ko-Hai was still alive

Luckily, the person who hit him knew whose dog he was and came right away to tell us he had hit Ko-Hai. If he had not done that Ko-Hai would have certainly died by the side of the road and we might never have known – just another missing dog

We could appreciate that we had been able to find Ko-Hai after he had been hit. He had staggered off into the bushes before he fell down.

We could appreciate that the nearest vet had still been open (it was Saturday) and was able to stabilize Ko-Hai for the hour trip to the Emergency Care Animal Hospital.

Yes, even in the face of something sad and scary and traumatic there were things we could find to appreciate.

Taking the time to appreciate your life changes you in ways you won't fully understand until appreciation becomes a natural part of your life. I can tell you all the incredibly wonderful things appreciation does for your biochemistry – real chemical and physical changes. How appreciation helps relieve your experience of stress. How it makes you more creative and intuitive. How your relationships are better when you practice appreciation. And these are all good reasons to make appreciation a formal part of your life. But the biggest gain you get from setting aside time every day – no matter what – to review and savor what you appreciate in your life is that it helps you to live a joyful life.

Right now - this very moment - pick 3 things you appreciate about today. And now design your own Appreciation Ritual.

- And Ko-Hai is fully recovered now and as sweet and loving as ever.