We think we are acting of our own free will but instead we often put our own wants, desires and needs aside to please someone else. Now I’m not saying for you to stop doing that, what I am bringing to the table is to think about how many times you are acting independently.
We just celebrated Independence Day in the United States and it got me thinking about being independent. Many of us think we are independent yet we really aren’t. We are often driven by outside influences,
some people refer to them as ‘outside forces’, that work against us… or so we believe. Truth be told, we have all the power to be independent right within us.
What does independent mean anyway? Some other words are: self-governing, self-determining, self-regulating and my favorite, free.
How many times have you made a decision based on how it would positively affect those around you? Think about it. You believed if you made a certain choice, something you truly wanted to do, that it would upset or inconvenience someone else… so you didn’t. You didn’t go out to dinner with your girlfriends because your spouse would have to prepare his own dinner on the fly. You didn’t attend a one-day seminar on a topic that really interested you because your mom wanted you to help clean out her closets that day.
Is that being independent?
It’s true, we think we are acting of our own free will but instead we often put our own wants, desires and needs aside to please someone else. Now I’m not saying for you to stop doing that, what I am bringing to the table is to think about how many times you are acting independently.
Dependency is sneaky; sometimes we don’t even know we are being that way and falling into the trap. We think we’re doing something nice for our spouse, our children, our parents, or our friends but then we get annoyed at them because—for goodness sake!—we are doing it for them and they don’t even appreciate what we’re giving up.
When you decide to lose weight for someone other than yourself, you are being dependent. When you say yes when you want to say no, you are being dependent. If you truly want to be independent, you must start speaking up and making your needs and wants known. You will also have to be prepared for someone to get upset with you or inconvenienced. It’s how it goes. You can’t please everyone all the time.
Some very simple (yet not often easy) ways for you to empower yourself are:
1. Say YES when you really want to.2. Say NO when you really want to.3. Don’t be afraid to say NO after you have said YES.
It’s absolutely amazing when you empower yourself, those around you are both inspired and empowered, too. Don’t you think you deserve that? Don’t you think your loved ones deserve that? Absolutely, you all do!
In the end, the true independence you give yourself will be well worth it. You will be happy with your life and your decisions. You will wholeheartedly be there for those you love, while allowing them to become independent also. Together you will create unity, freedom… and justice for all!
