Neutralize the negatives!

We are repeatedly told that we should forget about
unpleasant experiences (failures) and focus on pleasant
ones (successes).

I agree totally with the last part of this proposition but
only partly with the bit on forgetting about your
unpleasant experiences.

Rather, I think unpleasant experiences must be
confronted and "neutralized", otherwise they will always
be lurking in your subconscious, ever ready to pounce
upon you.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that they can simply
and safely be swept under the carpet. Pull them right out
and cut them down to size.

Clip their wings before they come back out to haunt you
and poison your life.

These are ferocious little beasts that create pernicious
feelings of guilt, anger, powerlessness leading straight
to anxiety, depression and lowered self-esteem.

These are creatures of Darkness and nothing terrifies
them as much as Light.

Pull them out and examine them in broad daylight and
then you'll realize they are not as terrible as they seem.

In broad daylight, they melt away and become not just
innocuous but even useful: they teach you lessons in
what NOT to do.

And that is how you can learn from failure and turn
negative experiences into positive, highly empowering
lessons.

And "all's well that ends well"!

In the words of Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler: "Every successful
person throughout history has also faced and dealt with
their own personal collection of fears and negative
internal messages".

Anybody can do it!

Reserve some time to be by yourself or, better still,
at night, before you fall off to sleep

1. Make a list of all your unpleasant experiences, all that
you can remember, as far back as you can remember.
Don't force yourself. Just take it easy

2. Carefully examine each one of those experiences and
answer the following questions, as accurately as possible :

What happened exactly? Why? Where was it? When was it?
How did it end? Why do you consider it as a negative
experience? What might have been the consequences
if it had ended otherwise (Envisage as many possible
consequences as possible)? Don't you think things might
have been worse if it had ended otherwise (Are you sure
it wasn't a blessing in disguise, after all)?

3. After asking and answering all those questions, you'll
find yourself relieved, as if a terrible weight had been lifted
off your shoulders.

Your "negative experience" has now been reduced to its
rightful size and rendered innocuous by being examined
in the Light of Day. It will no longer come to haunt you.

4. From now on, you will do the same with even your
most recent negative experiences and you'll soon feel
that these will happen more and more rarely.

When you sit and examine your life, you'll see more
and more success, less and less failure. You will carry
out this exercise from time to time, maybe once a week.

5. Now get up and stand upright, Shake the dust of
negative experiences off your clothes and move forward,
fully aware that: You are the Maker and Owner of your Destiny.

So, why allow yourself to be ruled by your own creature and
property?

Why keep worshipping a God you make with your own hands?

Focus on positive thoughts but also make sure you "neutralize"
all negative thoughts!

A.M.Sall - author, coach, success mindset philosopher