The Shadow Self

The Shadow Self by Lauren McLaughlin

The Shadow self was first revealed to me back in 1996 when I first took the Avatar Course. The learning here was that what we ‘project’ into the world can be disowned or denied aspects of ourselves.  We disown these aspects because there is negative judgment associated with them.  For example you’re raised by parents that believe it’s not acceptable to show anger.  Anytime anger is shown in the household the individual is shunned or ignored.  That individual then locks in neurologically at that point – ‘don’t show anger or you will be abandoned’ in other words ‘it’s not safe to feel or show anger’.

Anger is a normal human emotion and is necessary for our survival.  On the map of consciousness anger calibrates at 150 which is way above fear ‘100’ or grief ‘75’. One wants to have their energy calibrating as high as possible. Love for example calibrates at 500.  The challenge is that if the person is conditioned to not feel or show anger they may calibrate much lower and not get up past the anger.  The anger that is in their body then becomes part of their ‘shadow self’. You may have experienced someone who seems quite passive yet they are married to someone who seems ‘frustrated’ or ‘angry’. Welcome the shadow. Instead of acting out the anger themselves they’ve attracted it in their partner. 

Our shadow for the most part is unconscious. A way to learn what some of your shadow is begin the sentence “I would never….” Bingo that’s it. It’s quite often that thing that we despise in another that is a repressed part of ourselves.  In the movie ‘The Shadow Effect’ released June 2009 by Debbie Ford we learn that we can effectively lives much more rewarding joy filled lives if we learn to own these denied aspects of self. As we own these parts a more holistic self emerges, a self that free of judgments and therefore less separate than before, more connected to ‘all that is’.

Dr. Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961), Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology stated “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves”. Be aware though owning our shadow does not happen overnight. It takes considerable learning and learning to develop self-awareness to own our shadow parts.

As Jung quotes

”The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”

The only way to be with the ‘light’ within ourselves is to face the ‘dark’ or unconscious aspects of ourselves. The feelings and emotions in our shadow want to be felt.   What you can feel you can heal. By facing the dark, fearful places within ourselves that we don’t let others see we can become free. In this freedom, new gifts and talents that once were latent may come to the surface, physical healings may occur and most importantly you will be more aligned with the truth of who you are shadow and all.

 References: Aion (1951). CW 9, Part II: P.14 (Jung)

                   “Power vs Force” by David R. Hawkins Veritas Publishing

                   (Map of Consciousness)