Jul 11 18:11 2005 Punkerslut Print This Article

Sexual Monogamy and Polyamory... Just to clarify, when I say Sexual Monogamy, I mean a one-personed sexual relationship. When I say Polyamory, I mean a multi-personed sexual relationship. I have come to the conclusion that Sexual Monogamy is foolish, dogmatic, superstitious, and harmful, whereas Polyamory is rational, reasonable, healthy, and helpful. To those who oppose Polyamory, be they friend or foe of past, I say this: I will sooner die for knowledge than live with ignorance.

And now,Guest Posting I justify Polyamory.

(1) Sex is a bodily function, no different than eating food, talking, or playing a computer game. So, in no right, is it divine or pure. It is caused by a chain reaction of energy going through parts of your body and your mind commanding your body to specific actions. Just as it requires specific actions to eat food at the food table. However, in a Monogamous relationship, you may eat food with others, talk with others, and play computer games with other. Regardless, though, sex with others is FORBIDDEN. Sex, out of playing games, food, talking, and the such, was arbitrarily chosen as something to be shared. Why is this? Why must people be greedy and foolish? Even dogmatic in the proclamation that it is "special", "appreciation", or "ONLY love"? There is no reason.

(2) In many Monogamous relationships, people are harmed. The first and constant harm of a Monogamous relationship is that of unrelinquished sex. If you made a pact with a partner to be Monogamous, then you made a pact and to break it is immoral (so don't just run out of the house and have sex with the first person you meet). Sex... Why must it be forbidden? Why must it be shared only between two? There is no reason. This unrelinquished sex will, WITHOUT REASON, hurt people by keeping them apart. People are harming themselves, slitting their own wrists, cutting off their own heads... sometimes this emotion explodes when not wanted and someone is raped. The primary, and inescapable, pain of Sexual Monogamy is that of sex unfifilled, wants not received, and all for no reason whatsoever.

(3) The second harms of Sexual Monogamy are relative. In India, if a man dies, his wife must be burnt alive at his funeral. In the Mid East, a woman cannot show her skin or she is burned alive. In ancient Rome, a man could fuck all the women he wanted, but a woman could have only one partner. Humans are greedy. Man has said, "This is my house, my money, my children, and my wife - I own them and nobody can have them at all." In some relationships, EVEN TODAY, men refuse their wives or girlfriends from communicating with other men or women no grounds of jealously. Sex is the same goddamned way. Sex, in these instances, is relative as well. Some cultures allow men and women to fuck whomever they want. But if you hold hands with another person other than your spouse, they kill you! It's ALL about CONTROL, GREED, and JEALOUSLY!

(4) Further, I would like to say that women in particular have been opressed by this form of Sexual Monogamy. Think of it... Many people today say, "Oh, well, yeah, sure, Sexual Monogamy is logically foolish, but I feel it in my heart! Sexual Monogamy is right!" I will deal with the emotions and feelings of a Polyamory lifestyle later. Now, however, let me examine the forth proclaimed rantings of Sexual Monogamy. People 'feel' Sexual Monogamy? Well, what kind of Sexual Monogamy is this? If someone in the West says: "You're dirty, filthy, and whoring if you have sex with more than one person," how should I believe it when a person from the East says: "You're dirty, filthy, and whoring if your wife doesn't burn to death when you die."? How can I accept both statements? I cannot. It is all what you are developed and brought up in. A Mid Eastern man will say: "You're dirty, filthy, and whoring if your wife is allowed to show her facial skin!" I cannot accept ANY of these. They are all DOGMATIC statements based on the original GREED, CORRUPTEDNESS, and IMMORALITY of man! One man says this is dirty and another man says the opposite is dirty. And it all ends up in slavery of the body - you cannot do this because it is dirty! DOGMATIC!!!!

It is presumably reasonable to say that people were mating and in sexual relationships before 1900. However, in that time period, women had almost no rights whatsoever. The chances are that they felt the same about their mates as you did, even though their mates may have beat them, treated them like crap, or confined them not to talk to others or stay with others. They felt the same way about their spouse as the way you feel about yours. The reason is (a) that is what society has taught you, and (b) you are taught that you NEED these Monogamous relationships from being involved in them. They are sadistic, cruel, and completely self-destructive.

Observe the rituals in which these monogamous relationships are taken. In the West, a bride is given to the groom by her father, as though she was property, a slave, and nothing more. It is rooted from old traditions, when that is what literally happened. In the East, a bride is made to kneel and she is tied to the leg of her groom. What is this!!?? It is treating your to be spouse, your supposed "loved one", as a piece of property, cattle, and nothing more. These rituals are dogmatic and of greed.

(5) This ending conclusion deals with the questions of "who to fuck", and general blending in of Polyamory into today's Monogamous relationship. Personally, I do not see how I can enter into a Polyamorous relationship in today's society. Today's society will be far too strongly discriminating against us. Furthermore, when someone says Polyamorist/Free Lover today, it's like saying Atheist 1,000 years ago. It is not something liked, although it is the free choice (where people should be given the freedom to choose to be Atheist or pious, Polyamorous or Monogamous). The Monogamites of today think that there is an ethical value or moral reason to being Monogamous, but there is none; only dogma. Therefore, many Polyamorists today will be found to be immoral individuals who only care about getting sex, however not all are like this, but a marginal part of this part of the population is.

I would not "enter into a Polyamorous relationship", had I ever done in such a manner. When you enter into today's Monogamous relationships, it's a form of a commitment, a pact, a moral. However, Polyamory is not as such. Simply, if in an acceptable area, with someone you care about (or would like to haev sex with), and you both agree to have safe, protected sex, then that is Polyamory. And tomorrow, if you're in another secluded area with another friend and you both agree to have safe, protected sex, then that is Polyamory. And Polyamory, in all senses, is justified, although it may not be acceptable by today's society. As far as how to view sex, I think it should not be put on a pedistal and viewed as a grand, pure, divine thing. Some things may be pure and others may not be. However, it is not of the thing which makes it pure or unpure, but of the means. For example, if you play a board game with a friend who was having a hard time in her life, and she smiles, laughs, and becomes happy, and you could see these emotions in her faces, you could see her smiling, bright white teeth, then it would be kind, loving, and warm, or "pure". However, if you dragged in your other friend, and he hates boardgames, and he's complaining through the whole game ("I hate this game!"), it would boring, dull, and annoying, or "unpure".

The same is with sex. If you wish to be sexually active with a friend, at any particular time without commitment, then that is how it should be dealt with. You don't pull out a priest and chapel to play a board game. Why the hell should you for sex? If you wish to have sex with a partner, and you both consent, then I promote it. There is absoultely nothing wrong with two willing partners NOT to have sex. And, just as a board game can be meaningful, so can sex, when you know you love your partner, and your partner loves you, and there is no greed over controlling their body (almost a reverse rape - keeping them from having sex with others). Sex, just because it is common and done largely, through Polyamory is not any less intimate or tender, or loving for that matter. You can still love your partner in Polyamory the same, if not better, than your partner in Sexual Monogamy.

Sex, today, is commonly used or taken advantage of. A boyfriend may try to trick a girl into thinking that he really likes her and then takes advantage of her. This, still, is immoral. Let us just say that you have a million dollars, and a friend tries to trick you into thinking that he really likes you, and you give him 10,000 dollars, and he flees, that would be an equivalent of the previously described situation. However, some people may willingly want only to have sex and this too, is fine, as long as it is done in the proper way. Talk to a person and tell them that is what you're about. If they accept, then great. If not, then too bad. Society will take this rather offensive (as they are mentally crippled individuals), though. "Would you like to go to my house and watch a movie?" you could say to a friend at the mall and be greeted with an agreement and a smile. However, "Would you like to go to my house and have sex?" you could say to a friend at the mall and be greeted with yelling and a slap. You may also only want to have sex just for having sex. If you're at the tennis court with no friends, and you see a guy in the other lane with no friends, would you not challenge him to a game of tennis, simply because you are both players of a common game? Of course you would. It would be fun, enjoyable, and perhaps you could start some stimulus in the mind of this newly met friend. Why would sex be different? It's not.

The common argument against Polyamory, which is by far the most dogmatic of them all, is "Well, if everyone would have sex with each other, then we'd all have sex all the time!" This is made with the presumption that (a) everyone wants to have sex with each other and clearly, there is no other reason than this want... err, have I got that right? Actually, would it be justified to say, "If we were allowed to talk to other individuals, then all we would do all the time is talk to other individuals!"? Of course not! The point of allowing an activity is completing it! Not the reverse! (b) This is no argument to Polyamory, but simply a possible consequence (how likely, in part c). (c) People today have Monogamous relationships and they can have sex whenever they want and yet people aren't all just "having sex all the time". Furthermore, some relationships are so corrupt and destroyed that spouses have to sleep with other individuals sometimes, causing even MORE PAIN.

I shall briefly identify sex, Polyamory, and safety. I would like to say a couple rules. These rules are for your own good. Just as Polyamory, in its concept, is for your own good by granting more pleasure than previous, as well as more intimacy and happiness, it is wise to follow rules to keep it safe. (1) Have safe sex!! Remember that. It will keep you out of getting STDs and pregnant. (2) Be careful of your emotions!! It is commonplace in today's society that if you make a switch from Sexual Monogamy to Polyamory, you may have difficult emotions to deal with. Also, try to treat sex as warm, loving, tender, and intimate in the beginning. It will make the emotional part less draining in the beginning (Sexual Monogamy can cause detrimental effects on the brain - emotional damage when indulging in happiness and warmth that Polyamory can offer). (3) Make sure that the individual you are having sex with knows the terms of the relationship. Monogamous or Polyamorous. (4) Just remember that it is your decision to be Monogamous or Polyamorous. Do not force yourself from one to the other, ever. Only make the leap to Polyamory from Sexual Monogamy if you think you're capable. NEVER curse anyone for their decision of Sexual Monogamy or Polyamory.

This concludes my Polyamory essay. Polyamory is such a hard view. There are millions of Atheists and millions of Vegans. All intelligent. But everyone believes in Sexual Monogamy, or becoming Monogamous, whether or not they have completed it. Those who believe in Polyamory are dogmatic in the degree that they use Biblical scripture to support it. Everyone, though, who believes in ethics and morals, believes that Sexual Monogamy is moral and ethical, and that Polyamory, if it should be allowed, is immoral and unethical. There's a first for everything. I say again, as I said in the beginning: I will sooner die for knowledge than live with ignorance.


For Life,

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About Article Author


Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry on social issues which have caught his attention for several years. His website www.punkerslut.com provides a complete list of all of these writings. His life experience includes homelessness, squating in New Orleans and LA, dropping out of high school, getting expelled from college for "subversive activities," and a myriad of other revolutionary actions.

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