Having Dating Options And Exercising Them

Unless you been popular with the opposite sex your entire life, today's topic is uncharted territory for you. Although just about anyone who is highly eligible can struggle with what we are about to talk about, it's those who have most recently made changes in their lives resulting in increased popularity who are most confounded by it.

Since we're all about helping you have a wildly successful dating life around here, you may be closer than you think the day when you find yourself confronted with the concept of having real OPTIONS when it comes to who you are dating. And that's a great place to be.

The vast majority of people on Earth quite simply do not have a copious supply of people who can't wait to be with them romantically. Perhaps that's why so many of us end up marrying the first (and often times the only) person who is willing to "put up with us".

Invariably, this leads to a state that I non-affectionately refer to as having "settled". "Settling" leads eventually to both partners experiencing virtually zero fulfillment from the relationship. He or she who has "settled" will always have his or her nose pressed to the glass gazing at the greener pastures outside. Meanwhile, his or her partner is likely to become very bitter in a relatively short period of time knowing that he or she is not "enough" for the other. Feeling inadequate--let alone BEING inadequate--is a humiliating existence. For that matter, a partner who feels as if he or she has "settled" can also feel humiliated at times-generally when others think (either implicitly or explicitly) that he or she could have "done better".

So who has the more miserable existence? The partner who is forever feeling slighted or the partner who is longing for better and embarrassed to be seen in public together? I don't know and I don't care, frankly. The point is that YOU don't have to be either one of them.

In your case, the greatest gift bestowed upon you by having options is that you are thereby decreasing the probability that you will end up "settling" as indeed most others do. Instead of taking whatever you can get, even if only for a single date as is the case for many people, you have CHOICES.

The experience of having options is a key earmark of dating success. You are truly attractive to the opposite gender and are doing things right. Now, simply put, you have to give yourself permission to explore those options.

It is my opinion that one who has the choice among numerous worthy members of the opposite sex should be dating several of them at once until he or she has not only a clear picture of what he or she wants in a mate, but indeed until he or she feels that person has actually been identified.

One does not have to sacrifice character or integrity in order to do this effectively. Your reputation as a man or woman of integrity and class is not at stake simply because you are getting to know other people more often (and more efficiently, frankly) than you used to.

If you are more comfortable dating one person at a time, I can't deny that it will be easier for you to manage your dating life. And there is, of course, no inherent fault in doing so. Yet, I maintain that life is simply too short to stick with one potential partner you are unsure of until being fully sure he or she is not what you want. The only way to quickly gain the most effective perspective on what your ultimate partner will be like is to date as many people as you can.

Unless and until you do that, all of your own conjecture regarding what you want in a person is merely unproven speculation, isn't it? In order to maximize your dating success, you must leverage the options you have towards having a greater sense of exactly what kind of person you want to be with long term.