Incorporating bodybuilding into my lifestyle has been one of the most transformative decisions I've ever made. My early childhood was marred by the trauma of sexual abuse. Although these memories were repressed until just a few years ago, I spent most of my life suffering from all the classical symptoms of abuse: low self-esteem, low self-confidence, phobias, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and depression.
The cycle of abuse continued through my adolescence when, at age 16, I entered into an eight-year abusive marriage. I endured daily emotional and verbal abuse, threats, and intimidation. My self-esteem continued to plummet, and at age 24, when I finally divorced my husband, I was a physical and emotional wreck. I had never practiced a healthy lifestyle, had no self-respect, and the stress of my lifelong abuse had taken its toll. At 24 years old, I weighed 97 pounds, was having daily chest pains, heart palpitations, panic attacks, and insomnia. I also suffered from TMJ Syndrome due to stress. My doctors advised me to begin an exercise program before my condition worsened.
I reluctantly began aerobics and then incorporated a mild strength-training program. I immediately noticed the physical and mental benefits of exercise. At that point in my life, toning and building muscle was not my goal. I needed an outlet for stress and an increased energy level. However, it didn’t take long for me to develop an interest in nutrition, building muscle, and possibly competing. My self-esteem and general outlook on life improved tremendously as I continued my workouts.
In January 1998, at age 34, I took my love of the sport one step further. I hired a professional bodybuilder to train me for the upcoming Belding Natural Classic Bodybuilding show in Belding, Michigan. Due to the abuse I suffered, I have always had a terrible self-image. Even though I never had a weight problem, I have always been very embarrassed of my body. Competing was something I never thought I could do, because of this hang-up.
At a petite 5’ 2”, I am not genetically gifted with good muscular development. However, I trained hard, was very dedicated to my diet, and did exactly what I was told to do. I felt a lot of anxiety on April 11, 1998, when I stepped on stage in just a posing suit. Most of my competitors had better muscle development and had been training much longer than me. (Normally, that would have sent my confidence right out the window.) However, my routine was graceful and my poses weren’t bad either! The audience was very supportive and my self-confidence soared. I won a medal that day.
In my mind, I accomplished everything I set out to do. I gained valuable experience and many of my fears and hang-ups were conquered. I have never felt such confidence, satisfaction, and pride in myself. I have come a long way over the years and achieved many goals, but that contest changed my life tremendously. It is difficult to put into words, but I have not felt the same since that day.
Over the years, my family and friends have noticed the positive change in my health, attitude, and self-confidence. I have taken other steps to improve in those areas and to heal from my past. However, bodybuilding has been the one thing that has made the biggest difference in my life. It has made so much difference that I became a certified personal trainer. Through my new business, Trinity Coaching Services, I now combine fitness training and personal development coaching to help others reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. I have continued to compete once or twice a year, simply because it is vital for my self-esteem.
Bodybuilding is not just about physical transformation; it’s about mental and emotional growth as well. According to a study published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research, individuals who engage in regular strength training experience significant improvements in self-esteem and overall mental health (Source: Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research).
Bodybuilding has been a cornerstone in my journey towards healing and self-improvement. It has provided me with the tools to rebuild my self-esteem, improve my physical health, and transform my life. Through my experiences, I hope to inspire others to take that first step towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
© 2000 By Monique Rider
Exploring the Majestic Landscapes of America's West
Discover the awe-inspiring beauty of America's western landscapes, where the rush of daily life gives way to the tranquility of nature's masterpieces. This journey through the rugged terrains of Nevada and Utah, often referred to as "God's Country," reveals the transformative power of travel and the profound impact of connecting with the environment. From the neon lights of Las Vegas to the serene vistas of the Valley of Fire, experience a Christmas adventure that redefines the holiday spirit and leaves a lasting impression of the region's natural wonders.
Blessings in a Mother's Tears
As a mother, my intuition told me that something was amiss with my daughter, Deborah. Despite my concerns, most doctors dismissed her behavior as typical "terrible twos" or stress from my divorce. From pregnancy to delivery, everything felt different. By age two, Deborah exhibited explosive behavior, head-banging, night terrors, and wall-kicking. Her first psychiatric evaluation at 2 ½ came back "normal." As she grew, her behavior remained challenging but manageable with creative parenting and close monitoring. By third grade, she was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated, but I still sensed something was off. A second opinion revealed additional diagnoses: OCD, ODD, depression, and anxiety. Medication helped, but side effects persisted. School became a struggle, with inconsistent grades and a lack of interest. Things took a turn for the worse in August 2000 when 14-year-old Deborah was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, characterized by drastic mood swings. This diagnosis brought relief and an emotional rollercoaster. I felt compelled to "save" her, but Deborah was in denial and resisted help. I educated myself, joined advocacy groups, attended conferences, read books, and networked with parents and schools. I took Family Medical Leave to monitor Deborah, but she felt controlled and lashed out. I realized she had to want help. Despite school struggles and available options, Deborah resisted. I balanced elation, anger, and heartbreak. I continued to educate myself, focusing on personal growth. This experience reprioritized my life and led to soul-searching. I thank the Lord for this journey, which brought clarity and personal growth. My heart aches for Deborah, and each tear represents my love. I hope she gains something from this experience, even if she doesn't realize it now. I pray the pain will be worth the gain.
Be True
The concept of “being true to myself” seemed foreign to me for most of my life. I would listen to others instead of myself; or I would listen to my doubt instead of my ... That’s probably why I
