Don't Say "I'm Sorry"

The Holidays are a great time of year. People just seem friendlier and nostalgia permeates celebrations everywhere. It is also gift-giving time - an opportunity to show others how much you care and what they mean to you, as a family member or friend.

The decision on what to give is all part of the festivities. You decide on a gift that you will make - whether you knit, quilt, paint, cook, bake, etc. You pull out your very favorite recipes or patterns and think about the recipient of this gift as you work. There is no limit to the time and care you take - the quality of the ingredients (food, material, yarn, thread, paint, etc.). You want it to be your best work - and you want that person to know that you cared enough to create this "gift" because nothing else would do.

You lovingly wrap your gift and when the time is right - you give it. Now, two things can happen.
One, the "getter" is so pleased that tears of gratitude, appreciation, and love brim over and there are hugs, smiles, and heaps of "thanks." It is either proudly used or displayed for everyone to see.
The second thing that could happen is that it is received politely, but with a lukewarm reception.
Never you fear, you did the very best job and you have a right to be proud. There are feelings in every stitch, tuck, and stroke, and "what you see" is just the cover for a whole lot of feelings and emotions. This particular gift is packed - it is filled to the breaking point with care and love.
But - you say - they just didn't seem to like it. You also say - did they think I was cheap or money was a problem? Whether money is a problem or not is not of concern here. Cheap - not in your wildest dreams - this gift is lavish and royal with all the trimmings that really count.
They didn't like it - not correct either. While, yes, some beleagured individuals have become slaves to advertising campaigns and manufacturing giants' every whim and idea. These "wayward souls" are to be treated with concern. They are, as you can see, in need of some therapy, and your gift is that therapy.
If you could be a flower on the wallpaper in the home of where your gift will reside - on that day when everything went wrong - when bad news followed more bad news - or when there was no particular reason to feel blue but you are - that quilt, blanket, afghan, sweater, etc. will be cherished, held, and be the comfort and hug that you can't give personally at that particular moment. That painting or ceramic will be traced with a finger hoping to find answers to present problems, and each line and corner gives glue to a life that is falling apart. That hand-made gift, while not fully appreciated at the time of giving, will be the hand to hold, the smile to grace a face, and the lilt of joy that only precious care can bring.

When guests arrive, your gift may not be in a prominent place, but don't ever doubt that if placed in a drawer, a few heartstrings are there also. If placed on a shelf, the mind holds a very special place for gifts made with care and concern. We are human, and we are all made the same - with, of course, different features and accessories. But, the base, the very core - no matter how hard we try to hide it, disguise it, or pretend it went away, is there - and there when you need it the most - when it really counts - if your gift.

So, don't ever say "I'm sorry" to anything you make. Don't ever feel that others do better, or the chain store items have more glitter and pizzazz. Glitter is cold and pizzazz fades. Your gift is there giving twenty-four/seven to the person you thought enough of to give it to.
This Holiday Season be the Giver with the Best Gift that only love can afford to give -
ENJOY!
©Arleen M. Kaptur 2003 October