How Do You Get People to Listen to You

Dec 6 22:00 2003 Kendall Summerhawk Print This Article

Have you noticed people ... to listen? They nod their head and murmur, "a-huh" but the truth is they are not paying much ... to what you are saying! I ... being very careful about d

Have you noticed people pretending to listen? They nod their head and murmur,Guest Posting "a-huh" but the truth is they are not paying much attention to what you are saying!

I recommend being very careful about describing what it is you do too soon or in too much detail. Why? Because: It's Not About You, It's About Them.

When you make 'it about them', you are only talking for a sentence or two, and then asking another question.

My rule of thumb is this: you are either ASKING a question or SUMMARIZING what the person just said.

Being asked to describe what you do on a first meeting is a trap! Do not fall into it. The person asking you may seem like they really want to know more. But their curiosity will quickly be extinguished if you talk for more than two sentences!

If you want to talk a bit about what you do, ask permission first. Simply ask, "May I spend a minute describing how my service works?" You are likely to receive not only a yes answer but the person's full attention. Permission always builds trust, rapport and respect.

If you do receive permission, keep what you say to just two sentences. Practice saying in a nutshell what it is you do, using benefit-oriented language. If you are describing how your career coaching service works without adding on the result the person gets from hiring you, then you are violating their trust!
Most entrepreneurs I talk with spend too much time describing how their service works and not enough time stating the result to the client in hiring them.

Creating Action This Week: Practice the rule of thumb by either asking a question or summarizing what the person said. Do this with two different people each day and notice the responses you get. Did it leave people curious and refreshed from talking with you? Did they think you were a good listener? What did you have to do to
remind yourself to ask more questions?

Now it's your turn!

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Kendall Summerhawk
Kendall Summerhawk

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