How to release your pain.

The 24th of September in 2008 I woke up and reading about a shooting drama in Finland.

A young guy is going nuts in his school. We wonder what’s happening out there.

We are thinking that it does not happen to me. What do you think when those events occur?

I am fascinated of the human different shapes, looks and behaviours. How can we help each other in this world? This is what I am thinking of. My life as a personal trainer has attracted my thoughts to the human body, soul and spirit.

To what drives us to be who we are. Can we just accuse our parents, our history or do we have more responsibility then we think? Those thoughts together with our pains we carry around with got me thinking of what is holding us back.

Behind the grief lies the happiness. This is information about what grief counselling can do for you. What’s happening to you? What can you expect coming out from this? Can a psychiatrist or a priest do the same work as I am doing? A short story of why I came in to grief counselling. After years of coaching mentally and physically I noticed people are stuck in to the old patterns. It became hard to talk and plan for the future.

I wondered if there was a system, a method or a model to correct the spinning thoughts.” Seek and you shall find” I saw an advertisement in the local paper about a course of how to become a certified grief counsellor. So I took my classes and become the counsellor. What I found was inner peace, strength and more confidence of what will happen is meant to happen. Most of all I saw the changes in people in the course. Now a day the grief counselling is a part of my daily life.

Once you got a grip of the technique you can start to put in grief counselling every now and then. It is like when you start training. In the beginning it is trickier, hard but after at least 21 times it becomes a habit. I have been contacted by many different people and here is a man I like to tell you about. The thought is to describe different stories we have to through. This man said his thoughts had changed.

He went through a surgery for brain tumour. That went well. A quick recovery and he went back to work short after. Nine years later he checked the tumour up in the x-ray and found another tumour. Another surgery and rehab on top of that. This time he started to think too much as he said. Can he feel better with a grief counselling?

What is grief? It is the normal and natural emotional process after a loss. The problem is that the societies information of how to relate to a grief is not normal or to help you. Grief is an emotional reaction to an emotional loss but we have learned to handle the grief in an intellectual way. The solution to an emotional healing of a loss can just be reached by founding out the not spoken and not communicated feelings in that relation. After that we put words to our feelings and communicate these. Can this help our friend I’ve talked about?

The physical and physiology changes in relation to the surgery I can’t do anything about. I hand it over to the Doctors. What we can do together is to sort out what happened when he started to think about it. To have a look at the losses previous his surgery. See it as you fill up the bottle. Sooner or later it will be too full, you need to empty it time to time. My work is to make him feel better and he can just be better. He is already sad I don’t have to express that.

I am not taking the work from a priest or a psychiatrist. We help each other.

I like to remind us about the beauty in life.  In those times where financial crisis are in the news half of the world is starving. We on the west side of the world have both roof on top, food and clothes. Let us be reminded of and grateful about life. If you have any concerns regarding the grief please asks for help. It is so easy, well invested time and money and you will find the happiness again. Let’s go to sleep tonight with gratitude and humbled. Send a thought out there to share the wealth we have in the world. We have the greatest wealth ever and let’s share it. The more we help and think of others we feel better inside. This gives us the greatest inner peace and wealth fare.