Self-confidence. Why do some people have so much of it while others lack it? Self-confidence seems to be the magic ingredient that separates leaders from followers. Success from failure. Can it come on anytime like a flipping a light switch? Find out how we sometimes set ourselves up for failure.
We humans have always had a need for security. This mechanism has been built into us a long time ago when we were first hunter-gatherers and then later, when we learn to cultivate our land. From our early days, we have learned to survive by preserving meat or store grains in case our hunting expeditions are not good or our harvest fail. However this basic survival instinct does not always benefit us. We often cling on to our various safety nets, refusing to try out new ways of doing things. We become secure in our own comfort zones. Our credit cards, our big homes, our expensive cars, and a good stable job with many benefits – most people believe having these things will give them security. But these illusions may prove to be their undoing. A well paying job may become obsolete as the company outsources the tasks which you may specialize in. No one is indispensable. It pays to always be on a lookout for emerging trends and learn new skills.
There are also some people who go through life with the oppressive feeling that no matter what they do, they will still fail. People with such thinking have lost confidence in their own abilities and believe that they have no control over their future. Instead of taking hold of new possibilities, and accepting life with all its uncertainties, they adapt to life out of sheer convenience. It is the inner voices in them that tells them the rewards in trying are not worth it, it is best to just give up.
Those who choose security above all else are those that are afraid of making mistakes or making any form of decisions. They stay well in their comfort zones and won’t take the risks. Successful people know that failures are not the end of anything but the beginning of something. For within every failure lie the seeds to success. Taking the necessary risk of a second attempt is what separates the leaders from followers. People who don’t try hard enough will always allow small failures to discourage them permanently. How sad.
Leaders in any fields know that real peace of mind come from within. The only safety net that you can truly rely on is your own self-confidence. True leaders know that courage comes from building on their own strengths to venture unto unknown paths and work decisively and confidently towards their goals. If you want to avoid losing this inner security, you must above all, learn to control negative thoughts. It’s true that bad luck seems to follow those who believe in their own bad luck.
To gain courage and energy, you should try to fix your goals clearly in you mind’s eye. Your imagination is the most powerful God-given tool that you can use. You must form an image of what you wish to achieve, and imagine the positive situation you will be in when you have achieved success. For instance, let’s say you want to get a job of your dreams and have secured an interview, you must imagine yourself as a strong, confident candidate. If your thoughts are filled with doubts, of your own previous failures, chances are, you will not be a confident person during the interview. Your lack of confidence will show in your body language and your speech. Seeing yourself as an ideal, indispensable candidate with enough experience for the job will move you forward in the direction of a successful candidate.
Or take another case, perhaps you’re a weak student and every thought of taking any tests or examinations will make you break out in cold sweat. You can learn new study skills, take up simple memory training and learn easy to master memory techniques to improve your memory and help you remember many things like mathematical formulas, historical dates or important scientific facts. You will find that you memory can perform astounding feats of memory recall and this will give you the added confidence in yourself. A calmer student invariably performs better in tests or examinations, all things being equal. This will show up as better grades and every success builds on itself.
Maybe you’re thinking of moving to a different part of the city. Imagine yourself in your new life, in your new home. Think about the colorful new neighborhood, and try to picture the nice people around you. You will find yourself looking forward to a new chapter in your life, a new beginning rich in promises. You have what it takes to make your own more fullfilling, it’s all in you, in your mind.
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