What does and doesn't qualify as sexual assault, what happens when the initial "yes" suddenly becomes a "no"?
I was lying on my stomach and Tyler* was having sex with me from behind when all of a sudden, something started to feel off. I asked him to stop and turned around. He had taken off the condom without asking me.
"Wait, what happened to the condom?" I asked.
He explained that he had recently had blood work done and knew I was clean, so he "made a judgement call that it was OK." But it wasn't OK — not at all.
Before we had sex, I told Tyler multiple times that we absolutely had to use a condom. Thankfully, I noticed before he came, and a trip to Planned Parenthood afterward confirmed that I was clear of any potential sexually transmitted infections. But I was still furious. I felt dirty and violated. Yes, I'd agreed to have sex with this person, but that didn't mean I'd also agreed to whatever the hell he wanted to do in bed.
My experience with this man raised a question that I later realized was shockingly common: If you consent to having sex with someone, what happens if they do something that you hadn't said yes to? What if they slap you in the face, for instance, or pull a bait-and-switch and try to go for the butt without permission, as seen in an episode of the Mindy Project in which Mindy's boyfriend claims his penis "slipped"? Read more ..
Navigating Recovery from a Borderline Partner
Navigating a relationship with a spouse who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be a complex and emotionally taxing journey. The decision to stay or leave the marriage is deeply personal and often hinges on factors such as the well-being of children and personal values. Establishing emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining mental health, as taking on a partner's emotional burdens can lead to failure. It's essential to recognize that each person is responsible for managing their own emotions and seeking professional help when needed. For a comprehensive guide on healing from a relationship with a borderline spouse, read the full article here.My Spouse has Borderline Personality Disorder!
“ If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account.”Have You Heard About Backbone Power The Science of Saying No Audiobook?
Start saying Yes to yourself and No to being used/abused/exploited!