Can Staying Facebook Friends Help Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

Breaking up used to mean breaking things off. And that meant everything, in that you weren't likely to see your ex unless you somehow ran into her again.

But what about Facebook? Can you remain friends on Facebook with an ex girlfriend? Or the more important question: if your girlfriend hasn't unfriended you after breaking up, can you somehow use Facebook to get your ex back?

Social media has made breaking up a much more complicated situation than it used to be. In the past things were simple; you'd lose each other's phone number and life would go on.

Nowadays? You've got tons of social media connections that remain behind even after the relationship is apparently over. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, group text-messages... suddenly you've got to decide which of these ties to cut, and which to keep.

Seeing an ex girlfriend can be painful, especially if you're still in love with her. Wanting her back and even trying to win her heart again can be made infinitely more complex when Facebook is telling you were she went that day, who she met up with, what she did, and what she had for breakfast.

It might also sound simple to just unfriend your ex. But in matters of the heart? Nothing's ever that simple. You'll want to hang onto these connections because they represent a portion of your past relationship. One that you loved and looked forward to every day. One that brought you closer together, even though right now it's making your heart hurt.

What Happens With Facebook After You Break Up

Before we talk about social media, it's a good idea to learn what goes on during a break up. And not just with you, the person who got dumped, but what's going on in your ex girlfriend's mind as well.

First of all, your ex didn't dump you without a reason. Sometimes a girl will tell you what that reason truly was, but most times she'll make another, simpler excuse for ending the relationship. Often she'll do this to spare your feelings (i.e. if there's another guy she's interested in, she's not going to cite that as the reason she ended things), but even more often she's just choosing the path of least resistance. She's picking whatever reason (such as the vague "it's not you, it's me") she thinks will be easiest for you to swallow, simply because she wants to get out of the situation as quickly and cleanly as possible.

Want the REAL reason she broke up with you? Learn how to make her reveal that reason. Because knowing truly why things ended is one of the first steps in getting her back.

Second, realize that after the breakup your girl is watching you closely. And she's not doing this for your benefit, she's doing it for her own.

Anyone who ever broke up with someone thinks the exact same thing: I hope I'm making the right decision. They're looking for signs that the decision was correct; that ending things was the right move, and that the person they left behind was wrong for them.

So when your ex looks back over her shoulder? She expects to see you upset. She wants to see you crushed. This isn't because she's cruel, it's because seeing you this way gives her the impression that she's better off without you. After all, if you're that hung up on her, why would she still date you? Apparently your happiness depends on her, and that's a hell of a lot of responsibility she doesn't want.

Also? You're a GUY. No guy should be crying or whining or (worse) begging for a girl to take them back. No guy should be sitting by the phone, hopelessly devastated because his girlfriend broke up with him. These things are HUGE turnoffs. Especially to a girl who has already decided to let you go.

Traits and Behaviors That Will Make Your Exgirlfriend Want You Back

A guy should be strong: mentally, emotionally, and physically too. A guy should be confident. Independent. A guy - no, her guy - should always know what to do, in every situation, so that if anything arises he can take care of her.

Girls like to be taken care of. Yes, even the independent ones. So when you can't even take care of yourself? You lose a hell of a lot of appeal.

Whatever attracted your girlfriend to you in the first place must be the same traits that will get her back. Don't lose sight of how she sees you. Don't sit there wallowing in a giant pity party you threw for yourself. If that's what you're doing right now, you'd better man up quickly because you HAVE TO STOP.

Is Your Ex Facebooking You?

You can't tell when someone views your profile on Facebook. That said, your ex girlfriend is absolutely watching you after the break up. She's checking your page to see what you're up to, and she wants to know whether or not you're happy.

This is why you don't throw up all over your own feed. No crappy song lyrics. No depressing meme graphics. In fact, the best thing you can do on Facebook after your girl breaks up with you is pretty easy:

Absolutely nothing.

In trying to figure out how to win your girlfriend back, never underestimate the importance of doing absolutely nothing at all. Silence is always golden, and it's especially shiny in the wake of an unwanted breakup.

Emotionally your ex needs to see that she was right. Mentally she wants to know that she made the right choice. You being miserable = her being right. But when you disappear from Facebook (and all social media) entirely? You quickly shake any confidence she's trying to build up. Not being able to see what you're doing is the single most disquieting thing for your ex girlfriend.

It might even make her unfriend you, purely out of frustration.

What to Do if Your Ex Unfriends You on Facebook

If your ex clicks that button to de-friend you on social media, it's because of one of two reasons:

1) You're getting to her. She's making a statement by unfriending you, and she'll be looking for a reaction.

2) She's about to start dating someone else, and she doesn't want you to see her Facebook feed.

This assumes you've been broken up for some time. Unfriending you right after the breakup is possible too, but that usually won't happen unless you had a huge fight, you betrayed her, or something ugly like that.

If your ex does happen to unfriend you, the last thing you should do is mention it to her. Saying something - even dropping a snide or sarcastic remark - is only going to make you look jilted. You never want to look jilted. In fact, you never want to appear as if you care at all when it comes to something as silly as a social media page.

Making your ex want you back is all about appearances. Instilling original desire. You can't do that if you're complaining about not being "friends" on some website, or whining that you should still be able to connect via Facebook or Instagram. As as strong, independent, confident guy, none of these things should matter to you.