How to Get Your Ex to Contact You First

Silence can be painful after a break up. You talked daily, you sent hundreds of texts back and forth each week. You saw each other, hung out, slept wrapped up in each others arms, and then just like that... NOTHING.

It seems almost unnatural that you could go from so much physical and emotional contact to not even talking, just like that. Does your ex miss you? Does she want to call or text you, but right now she can't?

The truth is, she actually does.

The reason your ex girlfriend isn't calling however, is because making that sort of move might change her mind. Seeing you, hearing from you again... you think these things might sway her back in the direction of going out with you again. And they would... but only if she initiates the contact. And not if you were the one to contact her.

Post Breakup Contact Between you and Your Ex

See, right now you cannot contact your ex. Anything you do in that regard will be viewed as pushy, and also a little bit desperate. She broke up with you, and in doing so, she retains all the power. She holds the keys to getting back together, and the more you reach for those keys, the further away she's going to hold them.

But there are ways of making her give you the keys.

The above methods and techniques are well-suited for not only re-opening the lines of communication between you and a silent ex girlfriend, but also changing the way she views the entire break up. With just a few simple words and suggestions, you can swing the balance of power back in your favor. You can get HER to call YOU. And not only that, but your girlfriend will start viewing you - and chasing you - the way she did in the very beginning of your romance, when she was so totally in love with you that she couldn't contact you enough.

Why Your Girlfriend Stays Silent After She Breaks Up With You

Understand that breaking up is hard on both sides. Yes, you were the loser in the breakup. Yes, it's definitely more painful for you. At the same time though, your girlfriend went through a lot of mental anguish and hard decision making before she took those final steps to break things off. She did a lot of soul-searching. She was unsure.

That same uncertainty is the reason she's not calling or texting you right now. The breakup is a fragile thing. It can be shattered, and her decision reversed, but right now she's convinced herself that's not what she wants.

So what does she do? She ignores you. It's easier for her that way. Your ex isn't giving you the cold shoulder to intentionally hurt you, she's doing it so she can avoid hurting herself.

Now you can't reverse her decision right away. Don't think you can use brute-force to make your girlfriend want to take you back. In these initial stages, she's very guarded. Even the most innocent contact, such as calling her to get some things you left at her place, will be viewed by her as an excuse on your part to get her to talk about getting back together.

A little later on, she'll be a lot more open. Her guard will be down, and she'll be vulnerable to suggestion. But before you can get to that point, you have to endure the no contact phase of the breakup. You have to make her miss you first, if you want to win her heart again.

Getting her back is a a step-by-step process. By following these steps you can not only date your ex girlfriend again, but the relationship you build together will be stronger than the last one. Why? Because you didn't rush her back into the same old routine. You took the extra time and effort necessary to execute a proper reconciliation.

How to Break Her Silence When Your Ex isn't Talking To You

Ideally, you want your ex to call YOU. This can happen any number of ways, as there are methods you can use to get her to contact you via phone, text message, or even just show up somewhere she knows you'll be and start talking to you face to face.

Before this happens however, she'll need to miss you. Your ex has no reason to call you right now; it's not in her best interests to initiate contact. Right now she's probably occupied herself with school or work. She's spending a ton of free time with friends again. Maybe she even took a trip, visited some family. These are all things a girl will do right after she breaks up with you, to get her mind off of you.

You need to put her mind back on you. And the best way to do that? Stay completely off her radar.

This is where most guys go wrong. It's easy to think that the more you're "around" your ex girlfriend, the more you'll be on her mind. Facebook feeds, Instagram posts, walking past her in the hallway, or in the corridors at work... those things will physically put you in front of your ex's eyes, yes. But they'll never get you back into her heart.

Want the brutal truth? The more your ex girlfriend sees of you, the less she needs to. After a while, you become completely invisible to her. She doesn't even look at you anymore - she glosses over you. There's nothing special about seeing you, because she sees or hears so much of you.

This is counterproductive to getting her back because she doesn't miss you. She never has an occasion to miss you because you never really go away. And if you're calling her? texting her? Telling her you want another chance, or that things will be different if she'll only take you back? You become even worse than invisible. You become a nuisance.

You need to get your exgirlfriend to WANT to hear from you again. She should WANT to see you, because she hasn't heard anything from you in a long while. To accomplish this you have to disappear from her life. You need to vanish from social media; don't "unfriend" her on Facebook or anything like that (it'll make you look jilted and petty), but don't post stuff anymore. Busy yourself with other things. See friends, do things to improve your looks (working out, new clothes, etc...) and style.

When you become a complete mystery again, you suddenly have value. To become desirable, you need to make yourself scarce, even rare. Ideally, she should worry that you're having more fun than she is. Or even better, maybe you've met someone else... and this is the reason she hasn't seen or heard from you in any way, shape, or form.

THIS is what will make her call you. THIS is why she'll look for an excuse to drop you an email, or send you that late night text-message just to "see how you're doing". Congratulations. You just got your ex to make first contact.

What to Do if Your Ex Girlfriend Won't Make the First Move

If you've dropped out of her life and your ex still won't initiate first contact, there are ways of making her do so. Some of them are tricky, but done correctly they can prompt your ex to quickly get back in touch with you again.