One thing is for sure, and that is that relationships certainly aren't easy. There is a good chance that there will be at least a few disagreements when you throw two random strangers into a relationship with all their habits and quirks. Know how to make a relationship work can often be the deciding variable between staying together or breaking up. It is always possible to make things work no matter how much damage has been done. These next 5 steps will help you form a strong foundation for your relationship.
Relationships sure aren't simple. Simply taking two completely unique people and mixing together all their habits is bound to create at least a little friction. One of the most important things you can learn is how to make a relationship work. It is always possible to make things work no matter how much pain has been done. These next 5 steps will help you form a strong foundation for your relationship.
The first point is honesty. It won't surprise many people out there to hear that stable relationships tend to center on honesty. Both partners must be devoted to be open and honest with each other. Of course this includes being honest about the major things like money and all that, but it also encompasses openness about the small things too. Even if there is something seemingly minuscule that you are hiding, it will have an impact on your relationship. Look at it this way: Every small lie and secret that you keep from your partner is just one extra bit of yourself that you cannot share with them. Over time these little things will begin to add up. Then you find yourself one day completely alienated and unable to relate to your partner.
The second part is integrity. This requires that you do all the things that you promise you will. Just like the first point, you have to watch the small things not just the major commitments. Every time a promise is broken, it will take away from the trust in the relationship and contribute to a mounting pile of resentment, which will only cause the relationship to crumble. The moral here is to only make promises that you actually plan on keeping to your partner, not just offers to keep them happy. If you can't be certain of your ability to keep a promise, be honest with your partner and don't make the promise to start with.
Third, do things together with your partner that they enjoy doing. Relationships need a little upkeep and effort to keep going. There is a good chance that your partner is interested in a few things that you quite honestly couldn't care less about. When it come to making a relationship work, you absolutely need to learn how to compromise and occasionally do things with your partner that you might not like as much. Your boyfriend probably knows that you're not really interested in watching basketball or hearing him talk about his camping trip. When you go along with him willingly you are really sending an implicit message that you want him to be happy.
Fourth, focus on the positive qualities about your partner. Yes, it is true that no one is perfect, but when you put all your focus on the little annoyances you not only make your partner feel bad, but you may even start to wonder if you should be in a relationship with someone who doesn't remember to take out the trash or fill up to gas tank. Instead remember those times he said something that instantly made you feel better or held you when you were sad. When you remind yourself of all your partner's good qualities you are helping create a foundation that will help your relationship last long-term.
Lastly, pay attention and try to understand your partner. You don't need to feel like you have to fix his problems or even react to them at all. From time to time, we all just need to know that someone is there for us and understands what we are dealing with. Begin practicing listening to the things your partner says about his life while avoiding the urge to judge or criticize him. Just listen to his experiences of life without trying to fix his problems. Making a relationship work is essentially just accepting your partner fully just as he is.
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