Can a 50+ Man Find Temporary Happiness with a Much Younger Woman?

Editors: This interview can be reprinted in your online and offline publications, if the Author's Bio section is included. Please send an e-mail about the publication to malcolm@authors-sell-book.com
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The following fictional dialog takes place between Malcolm Goodway, author of A Temporary New Wife, and a committed Skeptic:

S: Malcolm, you say that it’s perfectly possible for a man even … let’s say in his fifties, sixties or seventies … to establish a relationship with a considerably younger woman which is satisfying and rewarding to both of them. My first question would be, why would any a woman want to undertake such an arrangement? The obvious answer is that she’s trying to get him to set her up for life — maybe by marrying him and inheriting his assets when he’s gone.

G: That’s certainly the conventional wisdom; but any man who enters such a relationship without seeing that coming should have his head examined. Still, it’s worth looking at that situation in detail to see exactly what’s wrong with it. The first thing that’s wrong is that it’s dishonest on both sides.

S: Why do you say that? Isn’t it understood by both parties that that’s the real reason for the relationship?

G: No, not unless it was said up-front and became an altogether explicit understanding between them. Did she say, Look, I’m willing to establish a sexual and maybe a cohabiting relationship with you as long as you leave me whatever assets you were planning to leave to your grandchildren when you die. I hope that won’t take too long.

Does he say, at my age I need an attractive young woman like you to excite me sexually, so I’m willing to let you believe you’ll be the heiress to all my assets. But I’m not planning to die any time soon, and I’m still going to leave most of my money to my family members even though you think it’ll all go to you. Meanwhile, I’m planning to have as much fun in bed with you as I can until the arrangement goes sour. But while it’s going on, you better stay away from men your own age or it’ll go sour pretty fast!

Said in this way, it’s pretty obvious that an explicit arrangement like this must be very rare. People do not say that to each other up front. Instead, they each proceed along the path of their own agenda even though these might be incompatible at their base. The source of the dishonesty is thus implicit hidden agendas. In other words, there is no clear agreement at all between the participants.

S: So, how would you avoid this kind of dishonesty between two such people?

G: First of all, I would remove any question of assets and bequests from the equation, and I would also not even consider setting a woman up into a paid parasitic existence. So what we are left with is an older man and a younger woman facing each other. What do you think he can offer her?

S: Certainly not physical attractiveness, unless she has a father complex.

G: That’s not as rare as you might think. But as a first approximation, let’s say you’re right. What has he to offer?

S: What indeed? Are you going anywhere with this, or just pulling my chain?

G: How about knowledge and experience?

S: Yes, I suppose so. But while it might make for good conversation at the dinner table, why would a woman have such a critical need for that?

G: Not any woman, such a specific type; or rather a woman with a very specific need.

S: Still can’t imagine what that could be. Do you really have some kind of answer, or are you just playing mind games?

G: Think of a woman who, when very young, interrupted her education to get married, then quickly had children, and not too much later was abandoned by her husband because he couldn’t take the responsibility for his family. There must be millions of relatively young women in that kind of situation.

S: So now she needs a big papa’s shoulder to cry on, right?

G: Not at all. What she needs is independence. And that means first of all economic independence. If you want to look at it politically, it’s really the feminist agenda brought down into the practical world. Without economic independence a woman will always be dependent.

S: So even committed as she might be to such an a goal, why can’t she get that herself?

G: In unusual cases she might, but I think in the typical case she’s going to need help.

S: Why do you believe that?

G: Think of the kind of economic situation she’s likely to be in. A low-level job to match her low-level education, with children to take care of too. Then if she’s intelligent, her lack of education must be especially depressing. She knows that the key to economic upgrading and independence is education. But she hasn’t the time to go to night school with her other responsibilities and she probably couldn’t afford all the expenses even with student loans. There’s another kind of problem of equal importance too. She probably has lost her study and learning habits by this time.

S: So some altruistic over-the-hill knight in shining armor is going to take her under his wing at this point?

G: I would put it in a much less cynical way. An older man will take her under his wing, but he’s not so altruistic. Remember, the best contracts are those in which both sides benefit equally. He’s going to let her quit her job and study full-time for a specified period, during which he will cover all expenses and help take care of her children. Almost certainly she will move in with him.

He will mentor her in her studies on a daily basis and at the end of the specified period will not release her into the marketplace until she has a new job that does offer her independence.

This will require a very intense and intimate connection for both of them, tantamount to a marriage, but only for that period. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t have a sexual aspect as well. So here we have it. The agenda on both sides is now all up front. They will live together just for a specified time period in order to provide educational upgrading for her; and during that time he will benefit from the sexual stimulation provided by a younger woman.

S: Hmmm … Have you tried this yourself?

G: This isn’t a personal discussion. But my hero, Wilson, has indeed tried it, with surprising consequences that keep expanding and ramifying in the novel.

S: What’s it called? A Temporary New Wife? Where can I read more about it?

G: That’s what it’s called, and more information can be found at our web site, http://www.authors-sell-book.com/a-temporary-new-wife.html

S: I think this might just be some new and insidious form of prostitution. Do you think that might be the case?

G: I don’t think it is, because it’s fundamentally non-exploitative on either side. But that that issue is dealt with extensively in the book.

S: Well … I’m not so sure. But as an older woman, why can’t I try the same thing with a young man?

G: You can, and I encourage you to try it. It’s just that there are so few young men in this situation compared to young women. But just the fact that you’re asking that question suggests that we may be coming at last to the limits of your cynicism, which is an achievement in itself. But please do find a young man in need of educational upgrading if you can.

S: Well, I’ll consider it … but come to think of it, my husband might object somewhat…