I Want My Ex Back Now! Am I a Loser?

Truth is, in the breakup game, we’re all losers.  When you get the heave ho you lose nearly everything you’ve put into the relationship.  On top of that, your heart is broken, your ego is shattered and your soul is raw from exposure.  So, the answer is yes, you’re a loser. And don’t think your ex has lost any less.

With that out of the way, let’s put that question in the right context:

What you really want to know is, by having the desire to get back with your ex, are you trashing your dignity and lowering yourself to the level of bug scum because you want to go crawling back. 

Here’s the equation:  If, by most standards, your ex is a loser, and you go back to your ex, that makes you a loser as well.  If you can honestly say that your ex is not a loser (taking into account the way he or she treated you on your way out the door) and you want to go back, then you may be able to do so with your dignity intact. 

Sorry for the over simplification. I know there are a lot of variables, however, you need to start somewhere.

Here’s what I would say to you:  If you’ve given yourself (and your ex) enough time and space to simmer, reflect, and recharge, then you might be able take a serious, objective look at your ex to determine whether you’re making the right move. 

If, after a thorough, honest evaluation, you are truly satisfied, then you are at the beginning stage of getting back with your ex.  Now STOP. Don’t make another move until you put a plan in place.  You may have only one chance at this so make sure your plan is thoughtful and deliberate.

I strongly recommend that you don’t go it alone.  You need a plan, some help with specific steps, maybe even advice on what-to-say (more important, what-not-to-say!). I found this site to be the biggest help: http://reviveourlove.com  . Good luck!