Differentiating between love and infatuation by exemplifying Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

Sep 16 17:18 2021 KS Bakshi Print This Article

This all-consuming intensity alone and any rejection of reasonable advice is evidence alone that Romeo feels infatuation rather than real love. In addition, Romeo confesses to confusing real love with mere physical attraction, another symptom of infatuation, when he first sees Juliet in his lines, "Did my heart love till now? 

Introduction

Love is deep,Guest Posting meaningful meaning that takes time to develop and grow between two people’s souls. Love feelings can be more intense than desired (e.g., after a break-up) or less intense than desired (e.g., in long-term relationships) whereas, infatuation is merely the physical feeling towards someone’s impression. The aim of this article is to clarify the difference between love and infatuation by exemplifying Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

Love:

  1. Grows slowly
  2. Long-lasting
  3. Love the entire person (inside and out, even the flaws)
  4. Want the other person to grow
  5. Willing to compromise
  6. TRUST and commitment
  7. Ability and desire to wait for physical intimacy

Infatuation

  1. Happens quickly
  2. Short-lived and over quickly
  3. Focused mainly on outward appearances
  4. Become jealous of a partner
  5. Stubbornness leading to many arguments
  6. Insecurity and doubt about a relationship
  7. Rush into sex and marriage before ready

Types of Love

  1. Companionship Love: Love typical of friendships
  2. Romantic Love: “Puppy Love”, full of emotion
  3. Pragmatic Love: A rational and realistic view of love
  4. Platonic Love: A non-sexual relationship between people of opposite genders, sharing of common intellectual and spiritual feelings
  5. Selfish Love: A self-centered view of love, personal needs, and wants are the MOST important
  6. Manic Love: Crazy, possessive, and jealous
  7. Sexual Love: A physical and intimate expression of love
  8. Altruistic Love: Selfless love or concern for others, their needs, and wants are the most important

There are many differences between love and infatuation. Infatuation is an intense, "all-absorbing passion" (Random House Dictionary). It especially lacks all sense of reason and can be very short-lived, leading to fickleness. Love, on the other hand, is more of a choice. It's a decision to continue to trust, admire, and stay committed to a person. It's a feeling that deepens through time due to choice rather than ends suddenly. Since the couple died an untimely death, we don't really know what their feelings would or would not have developed into, but we do know that Romeo's feelings for Juliet, as well as for Rosaline, were more of an infatuation. We also know that, while Juliet's feelings began as infatuation, her love for Romeo matured into real love.

 

We know that Romeo's feelings are more akin to infatuation due to the intensity of his feelings plus the suddenness with which he switched from loving Rosaline to Juliet. His feelings for Rosaline and his hurt over her rejection were so intense and all-consuming that he worried his father due to the fact that he had been seen staying out all night, night after night, and been seen crying each morning at dawn. This all-consuming intensity alone and any rejection of reasonable advice is evidence alone that Romeo feels infatuation rather than real love. In addition, Romeo confesses to confusing real love with mere physical attraction, another symptom of infatuation.

While Juliet's love at first is also all about physical attraction, the moment Romeo kills her cousin Tybalt gives her a chance to make choices and for her love to mature. At first, she feels she has been deceived by Romeo and that his beautiful exterior really houses a devilish soul. But then she decides that she should not speak dishonorably of her husband, simply because he is her husband. She then makes the reasoned conclusion that Romeo must have killed Tybalt out of self-defense and further decides to continue loving and trusting Romeo. This one moment of choice is real love, but Romeo never has a moment to make a similar choice. Therefore, only Juliet's love for Romeo is mature enough to be considered real love rather than infatuation.

Sometimes love and infatuation are similar because they both share feelings between two people, they both are positive aspects of your life; things that put a bounce in your step, and they are generally are new feelings for you. Love, most people find it confusing, painful and real. You feel alive when you are in love like nothing terrible can touch you. But when you have it, you are afraid of losing it, and when you’ve lost it, you feel as though there is nothing to live for. Most people mistake love for infatuation. An example of this is when Romeo becomes infatuated with Juliet in Shakespeare’s timeless tale of two lovers of the past. He wore in the heart on his sleeve, convinced that his love for Juliet at first was real. In fact, he only lusted for her physically and didn’t love her spiritually. Love and infatuation can both be parts of a relationship but at different times. Sometimes infatuation can mature and develop in love. Love and infatuation are incorporated into Romeo and Juliet because the two young adolescents first became infatuated with each other, which in turn, the lust develops into love.

Conclusion

Infatuation is more of an obsession or intense passion for someone that is often short-lived. Love, on the other hand, is a true, deep, mutual commitment and attachment. In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet both first infatuated with one another, later they both fell profoundly in love with each other. 

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About Article Author

KS Bakshi
KS Bakshi

Mr. KS Bakshi is one of the Founder Directors of the Company with 50 years of experience in civil engineering and infrastructure (planning and execution), especially in pavement engineering.

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