A Foolproof and Painless Way to Get Yourself Out of Bed

Oct 9
21:00

2004

FIRE FOXX

FIRE FOXX

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You know the drill. The blare of a ... alarm startles you out of your cozy slumber ... you that it's time to vacate the warmth and snugness of your personal cocoon and jump into the tortu

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You know the drill. The blare of a screeching alarm startles you out of your cozy slumber reminding you that it's time to vacate the warmth and snugness of your personal cocoon and jump into the torture chamber,A Foolproof and Painless Way to Get Yourself Out of Bed Articles popularly referred to as THE BATHROOM. The first frigid blast of cold air violates your senses like an arctic assault. Now you must work up the courage to disrobe, further exposing your tender skin and most sensitive parts to a frozen invasion and risking a minor heart attack from the sheer shock of it all at such a vulnerable point in your bio-rhythm. The chill runs up your spine like fingernails across a chalkboard as you reach for the damp and musty smelling towel from yesterday's torment and wring out the frosty cold and wet washcloth.

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STOP TRAUMATIZING YOUR BODY UNNECESSARILY

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People often mistake the effects of a brisk morning shower with the effects of hypothermia- which is actually a more apt description of this excruciating morning ritual. Your flab shivers uncontrollably, muscles seize up like the elastic in a full-figure bra, and your saliva turns into giant icicles hanging from your eyeteeth. Then you begin to numb as you prepare to enter your morning mini ice age. Like a glacial coffin, the shower stall awaits your paralyzed and freeze-dried corpse, as you stumble in like a frostbitten black bear about to embark on a winter slumber.

After you've managed to unfurl your anesthetized and rigor mortis filled hands, and scrub your trembling torso, you launch out of the stand-up freezer and into the teeth-chattering crypt room, where you desperately rush to find the unthawing station. You eye your warm and cozy bed as you rush to find something- anything- to wear. And somehow it doesn't seem fair that even your morning coffee wakes up to a fresh-roasted drip through a hot coffee-maker while you have been subjected to the onslaught of a thousand icy pin pricks all over your pathetic, working-stiff body.

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A SENSATIONAL NEW WAY TO ADD COMFORT TO EVERY ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE

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And we wonder why our kids don't want to get up in the morning? Who, in their right mind would put themselves through this every morning of their life if they didn't have to? It's akin to emerging from the warmth of the womb into the cold, cruel world every single day of your life, over and over again. Until one day you wake up and decide to do it differently. And that day can be today.

Because today, for under a hundred dollars, you are going to change the way you feel about your morning ritual forever. Because today, you are one of the smart people who knows a great value, desires comfort, and will take the action necessary to end your pain. In fact, it will probably be one of the best 100 bucks you've ever spent and once you try it, you'll never go back. I guarantee it.

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HOW TO KEEP YOUR TOWELS PERPETUALLY WARM AND DRY

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A towel warmer is really much more than a simple towel warmer. It has many, many uses. You could almost use one in every area of your home. The obvious place is the bathroom. Never again will you reach for a towel or washcloth and find a damp, clammy, sour-smelling rag. In the humid summer months, your towel warmer will chase away mold and mildew in both your bathroom and on your towels. Your towels will always smell clean, feel nice and warm and keep their fluffiness. You can even slip a scented dryer sheet between the folds of your towels so that they always smell April fresh. Can you imagine the feeling you'll get when you wrap yourself in the warmth of a super deep heated bath towel? And not only will the towel warmer keep your towels nice and warm and dry, it will also keep the bathroom nice and warm. The floor around the unit stays warm and you can even drape the clothes you're going to wear on the towel warmer as you dry off- so they will also be warm when you slip them on.

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NOW, EVEN WET AND MUSTY OUTER WEAR STAYS FOREVER WARM AND DRY

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Can you imagine how wonderfully soothing it would be to slip on a warm and toasty winter coat or rain jacket before heading out into the cold winter weather? That's why I keep an extra towel warmer in my mudroom. The Towel Warmer keeps your umbrella dry, your rain boots dry, and takes the cold and dampness out of all your outerwear. I put sweaty gym shoes under the towel warmer after shaking in some anti-fungal foot powder. Then when I slip them back on, it's almost like wearing a brand new pair of shoes. The kids put their gloves, scarves and coats on the towel warmer and then when they go out to play, it's like they're wearing an extra layer of warmth. The baby LOVES to get into her nice and warm snowsuit. In fact, she usually falls asleep before I get her to the car. The older kids keep their camping gear near the towel warmer, so that tents, tarps and sleeping bags dry out quickly and are ready when they are. We haven't had a bit of problem with musty-smelling and mildewed camping gear since we've been keeping it near the towel warmer in the mud room. We even take the portable towel warmer with us when we camp, so that bathing suits, towels and soggy clothes can be kept warm and dry. At night, we line up all the shoes under the towel warmer with a fresh pair of warm socks draped over the bars. That way we wake up to instantly warm and dry feet. These little conveniences can really add a lot of comfort to camping trips.

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HURRY, BEFORE THE CHILL OF WINTER SETS IN

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We keep the ski boots and heavy woolen socks near the towel warmer, so that they dry quickly and thoroughly between uses. I also sometimes throw the welcome mat over the towel dryer for a little while to keep it nice and dry. The towel warmer seems to have extended the carpet in my mudroom as well. I think that's because it's never damp for long.

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A REVOLUTIONARY NEW WAY TO MAKE PERFECT YOGURT EVERYTIME

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You won't believe how many uses you'll come up with for your new towel warmer. I use mine to culture yogurt! It emits the perfect temperature for making homemade yogurt at a fraction of the cost of store bought. Plus, the kids get a kick out of fruity yogurt pops and are eating lots of healthy fruit.

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AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR SPA OWNERS

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If you have a spa, you most definitely will want to put an extra towel warmer there. Keep one near the pool, on the patio, and in the jacuzzi area. I put bed sheets on my towel warmer so that I can completely engulf myself in cozy warmth after a swim. There is nothing better than a nice long soak in the spa, followed by the relaxation of a warm and inviting sheet or blanket.

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HOW TO CUT YOUR LAUNDRY TIME IN HALF EACH WEEK

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With my towel warmer, I find I don't have to launder the towels as much. The kids used to assume the towel was dirty after one use. Now they can't wait to put their towel back on the towel warmer for next time. My toddler loves to put her blankie on the towel warmer about 15 minutes before her nap so that it's snuggly warm. And like I said, even the baby loves to get dressed now that I pre-warm her sleepers, blankets and clothes on the towel warmer.

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THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT UNDERWEAR

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My delicates seem to last a lot longer now that I dry them on the towel warmer in my utility room. I also save the cost of extra time in the dryer by letting damp comforters and the dog bed dry on the towel warmer.

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HOW TO MAKE YOUR VACATION HOME A REAL HOME AWAY FROM HOME

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Our holiday cabin is now equipped with towel warmers, as we found them to be indispensable after a day of snow shoeing in the mountains or river rafting. Even my husband, mighty fisherman that he is, has found some new and creative uses for the towel warmer.

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DON'T SUFFER THROUGH ANOTHER RAINY SEASON

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I bought a towel warmer for work. Now my raingear stays warm and dry. I just slip my boots under the towel warmer, throw my gloves, hat and coat on the racks and viola! I feel like I'm getting a nice big warm hug every time I get ready to leave the office.

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THE SECRET TO INCREASING YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THE 4 SEASONS

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The towel warmer is easy to use because there's nothing to install. You just plug it in. And it uses about the same amount of electricity as a standard light bulb. You can get either the wall-mounted or floor model. Your bathroom will stay much warmer. I even put one on my 3-season sun porch to extend its use. I put my most fragile deck plants in the sunroom, right near the towel warmer. They love it! And so does the dog. His favorite place to curl up for a nap is right next to the towel warmer. I would think a cat would also find this to be a delightful place to sleep.

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ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF ACHY MUSCLES AND JOINTS WHENEVER THE WEATHER CHANGES?

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The towel warmer lets me keep down heating costs for the rest of the house, and also lets me keep certain rooms cooler than others. I like to keep the temperature around 68 degrees in the winter, so I keep my afghan draped over the towel warmer before cuddling up to watch a DVD. And there is nothing better than a nice warm set of sheets and blankets when you're sick with the flu or cold. I would think the sick, elderly and invalid would really benefit from the deep warmth the towel warmer gives to fabrics. If I were an arthritis or Fibromyalgia sufferer, I would insist on a towel warmer in every room of the house. Or how about people who suffer from Raynauds Disease? I drape my flaxseed filled, potpourri scented neck/shoulder and lumbar wraps over the towel warmer. Within minutes the entire room is filled with the heavenly smells of lavender and lilac. Then, after I finish the vacuuming, I fetch the warmed wraps and take a little R&R in my recliner.

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YOUR LAST CHANCE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE… FOREVER

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The towel warmer has helped turn my bathroom into a beautiful place to unwind, instead of a freezing cold torture chamber. I can't believe we ever lived without it. After one morning, I promise, you'll never want to go back to the days before your towel warmer. You won't believe what a difference just one product can make in your life. Your comfort is instantly maximized and your stress is miraculously reduced. Just like that.

So, don't keep living like a caveman! Surround yourself with the soothing comfort of a warm towel and say goodbye to that agonizing morning ritual that makes you not want to get out of bed. It's high time you get out of the Stone Age and see all the marvelous ways you can turn your old drafty castle into a heavenly retreat.

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